Breastfeeding (again)

I am causing myself a lot of guilt and anxiety with the thought of stopping breastfeeding. I don't know what it is. My goal was six months. I am there and then some. This week due to my low supply I started him having half breast milk and half formula when I am gone because I know I won't pump all that he needs while I am away. Part of me thinks, "if I am having to do this now maybe I should start weaning him". Then I have this humongous guilt that sets in about doing that. I really don't get it. I know that there is a huge attachment with breastfeeding (for both of us). He still really likes it and I still have the bonding experience with it. I think I would not feel so guilty about the idea if I could tell he was ready to stop. There is a lot to be said about the bond that is there. If you've read my previous post on breastfeeding, I was not big about it prepregnancy but now I totally am. If there is another Horton baby in our future he or she will be breastfed no questions asked. I know that if I would have bottle fed him from the get go we still would have bonded but there is something special about being able to physically provide him the nourishment he needs and being the only one that can do that. I don't want to breastfeed him until he is a toddler even a year old but now I can see why mothers and babies still want to. I never thought I would say that because I used to think it was so weird to see a toddler still breastfeeding. Anyhoo, man there is so much pressure, probably that I am putting on myself more than anything. I know if I were to wean him he would be fine. If I continue feeding him and supplementing he will be fine. I don't know that I am going to completely stop until I feel more comfortable about the idea. I wish at some point he would do like a friend of mine baby did and just not be interested in it. Then I think I would feel better about stopping. So right now I am just going with the flow. Maybe when the teeth come I will be more ready to stop!!!

more pictures

These are some of the pictures I took with my new camera. I love it and can tell a big difference in the pictures with my new camera and old one.

What a WONDERFUL Christmas

This was seriously my best Christmas EVER. We had many places to go. Monday my mom's, Christmas eve my dad's, the Edmondson's, and Horton's. Christmas day, our house, Chris's parents, and then my grandmother's. So it has been a very busy Christmas but a great one. Nash had so much fun and got so much stuff. I am planning on going through it all tomorrow. Having Nash made Christmas much more special. As you get older it seems like Christmas doesn't feel like Christmas but having a baby brings that all back. Chris and I had a good Christmas too. Chris did good for me. I did not do so hot for him. He got me the things I wanted and surprised me with a couple other things I didn't think he would think of but I love. Also we normally get each other Christmas cards. He got me a really cute one as usual and normally he signs "love Chris". This year he wrote something really sweet. I did not do so hot. I got him things he wanted but a comic book I ordered turned out to be in German and I forgot the Christmas card. Chris got some other things he really wanted and I got a new camera that I love!!!! Once I figure out how to get the pictures on the computer you will see the difference in the quality. I have some Christmas ones on there that I may post later but for now here are several other pictures I took over the the course of our Christmas stops. Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and remembered the reason we celebrate Christmas, the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!
Nash with some books he got.
Nash LOVES his Elmo Live. Mommy really likes it too.

Nash with my dad and his big cousin Trace. Trace loves Nash and Nash loves him.

My dad got Nash his first basketball goal.
Nash in his pj's with his stocking Christmas morning and then sitting by the tree.
Daddy showing Nash how to use his new walker Santa left for him.
Nash and Sadie
Nash with Mimi and Poppy giving him water from a little water bottle

milk supply (again)

I know I have posted about this earlier but it is an issue again. I think it may just be one of those weeks for me but I am now starting to have to dip into my supply more. For instance, today I had about 4 ozs of fresh milk for Nash. I had to give my mom a frozen bag too. I only pumped 1 and 1/2 oz at work the first time. I am down to pumping twice a day. I see formula being supplemented in the near future as I will be going through my frozen stash quicker. I have nothing against formula and am mighty proud of myself for making it 6 1/2 months probably 7 of pure breast milk (other than the couple of ozs of formula he gets in his cereal). I still plan on nursing him all the time when I am with him and just supplementing with formula when I am not. I have a feeling that the supply will be getting low though. Previously when Nash slept through the night or had a long stretch of sleep I would feel real full but not so much any more. What is crazy to me is that there is enough supply when I am with him but not when I'm not? How is that possible? I know that babies are able to get more milk from you than the pump does so that would make some sense. I have been wanting to see where an end to breastfeeding might be so this might be my answer. I think I am going to just go with it. The cons are in the middle of the night having to make a bottle and just having to make a bottle period. Also, Nash seems to prefer it but he is doing well with his bottle now without me (don't know how he would do with a bottle with me). The pros are not having to worry with it any more and being able to leave or go to work without pumping. I guess I am a little indifferent. I still enjoy the not having to mess with the bottles myself. So, I guess the plan is use up the rest of my frozen stash, still pump at work (even though it will be less than he needs) until I am completely ready to give it up, then I will cut back, supplement with formula when the stash runs out, continue to breastfeed when I'm with him, and then when I am getting ready to totally quit I will start cutting back on that too. Does that make sense? I seem to make things more complicated then they are. I think this is just a big issue for me because it is such a bond with me and Nash. On one hand, I really enjoy it and am glad to have done it. On the other hand, I don't want to do it forever and am wondering if I am getting the the crossroads. I didn't think I would make it this far and it is such an adjustment to stop it but one I will do gradually.

Handsome Fella

These pictures are a little dark but I couldn't resist. This is what he wore to church today for the Christmas musical. Is he not adorable? I wondering where I sign him up to be a little baby model! He really enjoyed the music. He just stared at the choir. He only started getting restless when the music stopped. I think he is going to like music like his Mimi and Daddy hopefully he will be able to sing like them and not like his mommy!

grocery shopping and Nash on the phone

I usually go to the grocery store on Saturdays. I made my list. Got Nash settled and went to the store. Normally, I shop at Neighborhood Walmart because it is small, convenient, people are friendly, and I just like it. Today I had to run to Kroger because I needed to get stuff to make "white trash" for Chris. It is something I make every year. He has been wanting it and complained because last year I did not make it. I don't doubt it because it has been hard to find all the ingredients at my favorite Neighborhood Walmart. They usually have all but the white almond bark. So I thought I would to go to Kroger to see if Kroger had it and then go to Walmart. I am a creature of habit. I like things to be simple and routine and organized. I got to Kroger and thought "this is stupid I may as well buy all my groceries here since I am here anyways". I truly felt like I was cheating on my favorite grocery store. It felt uncomfortable and too big but then I started liking it. I thought man this place has tons more the the neighborhood store does (even though I got the same stuff I always get). I did get the almond bark along with the rest of my groceries. Then, I could not find the baking m & m's. I was furious. I still had to go to Walmart for those! So, I sucked it up and went to Walmart. Low and behold they did not have the m & m's either but did have the white almond bark (the thing they hadn't had all this time). I decided I would just get regular m&m's and try it but I had to do it because Chris really wanted it. As I am typing this I know this sounds really trivial but it upset me so bad. I think because I already decided to go outside of my routine and shop at Kroger and then still had to go to Walmart, and then still did not get all that I needed, AND Walmart had the thing they hadn't had before but not the m&m's. I really was highly stressed and frustrated. I called Chris to tell him I was on my way home, see what he wanted for lunch, and the whole fiasco. The phone rang and Nash answered. He makes a sound like he is saying "hi, hi, hi". So I start talking and he is talking back and laughing at me. It destressed me so much. He sounded like a big boy talking in the phone. He just laughed and talked and was grabbing at the phone. He is such a momma's boy and I love it!!! He totally made me feel so much better.
(by the way the "white trash" turned out really good according to Chris)

1st Christmas present

Nash got his first Christmas present today. Chris came home from school with gifts from his students and he had a gift for Nash from Ms. Phillips, the school counselor. It was so fun to see Nash try to open it. He got so excited. Here is the sequence of events. Afterwards he carried around the paper and he tried to put the little people in his mouth.
He's going to be so much fun this Christmas. I can't wait. (Thanks Ms. Phillips!!!)

More Pictures

These pictures are of some of his Christmas outfits. The first one has Reindeer on it and says baby reindeer. The second one says Daddy's little present. Aunt April got both of these for Nash last Christmas. He's so goofy and already knows what the camera is. Anytime I get it out he grabs at it.

Same Blog-New Look

I started feeling like my blog was too dark. I am going to try this one on for size.

dinner for two

I meant to say something about this yesterday but with all the sickness I forgot. Monday night Chris and I had the Birdseye Steam Fresh Dinner for Two and it was really good. I normally get their steam vegetables to go with different things I make and I saw a commercial for this and thought I would try it. We had the Grilled Chicken Marinara and it was really good. It has pasta, chicken, tomatoes, and spinach in it. All you do is put it in the microwave for ten minutes in the bag and it is good to go. No lie, it taste like the thing I get from Carinos and is very inexpensive. So, if you are looking for a good, easy, fast meal for two there you go.

Snow (Ice) Day

Well, I got my wish we did get our snow day. However, it has not been that great of a day. First of all, I did not sleep well last night and I think I now have what Nash has. My nose is really stopped up. I have a tickle in my throat that does not go away. I have been taking medication and I will feel back to normal one minute and the next super stopped up again. Nash has been cranky today and seems to be coughing more today than I can remember. He did not eat much of his cereal or his fruit today. He gets cranky when I give it to him so I think he just does not feel like eating. Speaking of not feeling like eating, I have no sense of taste. My hearing also seems to be muffled. My nose is raw from blowing it so much. I am so ready to have a healthy family again. Chris feels better and is hoping he does not get it back from us. I am concerned that Nash's cough has gotten worse and I plan on calling the doctor tomorrow. He has coughed so hard that he starts to gag. It has been five days and it seems worse today than it has been. I am giving him the children's Mucinex and I am talking the adult kind. It does seem to help. Maybe it is just breaking it up more. I don't know. I am not in the medical field and this is the first time my son has been sick. On a positive note, last night I did get the rest of my presents wrapped, separated by places we are going, pictures in frames and in bags, some laundry done, and today I baked cookies in my double oven (which saved a lot of time) for my co-workers.
On a weird side note but somewhat related I bought Sadie some pet stairs because Chris is concerned with him getting older that he does need to keep jumping to get onto the bed. Well, this did not go over as well as we thought. He gets confused and frustrated at the stairs. He just paws at them or jumps over them. So, a few times in the early morning hours when I was finally asleep I was woke up by him pawing at the bed which usually means he needs to go outside but this time meant he did not know how to get on the bed. yay! Now the stairs are moved and won't be moved back until he knows how to use them.
My Christmas wish is to have a healthy family!!!!!!

Got a lot on the brain today

One, I think I'm a blogaholic. I can't believe how much I posted this month already. Two, It's freezing today and I'm hoping for a snow day tomorrow. I got a lot I could get done. Three, Christmas is next week. I usually have everything done but you know there are always those last minute things and it is very anxiety producing for me. I like to be organized and have everything done. I have mixed emotions about Christmas. I am glad to have Nash this year and that in itself is the only present I need or want. I get a little frustrated in all the gift giving and obligations. It feels like too much pressure and not really for the right reasons. This is just the social worker in me but I know my son will get more than he will ever need and I feel so sorry for those kids who do without. It's not about gifts at all but it seems like that's what it gets made into. I just wish there was not so much hype around the gift giving part and since there is I wish that people who are less fortunate, especially children, have something to open Christmas day. A lot of people are hurting financially more than they have in a long time and it makes me sad to think about what some people are going through when I have been so fortunate. Four, I have lately really enjoyed our family time. Last night Chris and I just played with Nash on the floor with his toys and had a good time. I love seeing Chris with Nash. He does this new thing where he whispers in his ear. Nash just smiles real big and after he is done Chris backs off and Nash starts leaning into him to get him to do it again. It is so cute. I love it when my husband is home more and now that we have Nash we can spend family time together. It is my favorite thing to do at the moment. Five, I can't stand cigarette smoke. I hate that people who smoke don't really smell it but people that don't smoke have to get it on their clothes and everything else. It makes my nose stopped up and makes me sneeze and I really hate it if anything of Nash's smells like smoke. Just a huge pet peeve of mine and hard one to address with those that smoke. There I guess that was it. I feel somewhat better.

some pictures

Nash eating in his high chair for the first time. I like it because it rolls and I can take him wherever in it. He's such a big boy in it.

He likes to play with the tag on the pillow. Simple pleasures!

Nash has a lot of little Christmas outfits I am trying to get him to wear before Christmas.

I think he was talking or fixing to cough but I thought his face looked funny.

There's the smile I was looking for.

Feeling Better

Thank the Lord! Today Nash is feeling much better than yesterday. Still not 100% but I can see a big difference. He still coughs some and is a little congested and can get fussy at times but he is not crying his eyes out, not breathing, and fussy all the time. I think the medication is working and the humidifier helped. Last night he slept in his swing right next to his humidifier. He did get up some but had a long stretch of sleep from 11 to 5. He would cry some and then go right back to sleep. We went to my side of the families Christmas parties. I was glad they got to see Nash because some of them hadn't at this point but I wish he could of been his usual happy fun self. He did have spurts of his old self but spurts of his sick fussy self too. I had a cousin that I grew up with who did not even know I was pregnant. He said that can't be your baby. Crazy how we only see some family around the holidays and how little we know what is going on in their lives. I enjoyed showing him off and seeing my parents showing him off. We are all so proud of him and love him so much!

The saga continues....

Last night, Nash took at nap at 6:30 for about an hour and then went to bed at 9:00. So, I thought "good he will sleep good tonight since he isgoing to bed later". I couldn't be more wrong. He woke up every hour crying. Then at midnight stayed up to a little after 1:00am. He was just incredibly fussy and just wanted to be held. I got about four hours of sleep last night. He woke up again a little after 5:00 and was just up and super fussy. He is congested. He seems like he can barely breathe. His eyes are matted with gunk as I call it. So, I called the doctor. They called him some eye drops and told me to give him Robitussin. So that is where we are. I also remembered that he had a humidifier in his closet. A friend of mind told me how well that worked for her son. So it is out and on and we are starting this new medicine. I am hoping to have good results. I had a mandatory meeting that we have at work twice a year so I had to go in but got off early. I hate to see the way he looks like now. He just cries a lot and his poor eyes and nose are horrible. I am praying he gets better soon.

today's update

Last night, Nash woke up a few times but went back to sleep good. He did not have fever when he woke up and had not vomitted so I gave him some cereal which he scarfed down. Then he ate some pears. I thought this was a good sign. He took a long nap this morning but woke up burning up. He had 101. I gave him some Tylenol. He had another good nap. He has been okay. Still kind of fussy and clingy. Not really playing like he normally does. He still is nursing good. I am begining to wonder if it really is a stomach virus or some other virus. He has not thrown up since yesterday morning and has not had a dirty diaper since Tuesday night. He does cough and sneeze some. He also has been congested. He has some fun times where he will laugh at me some but then he doesn't feel like it. Anyways, I hope he stops running a temp soon and starts to be his old self again. I hate seeing him sitting there moaning.

the latest

Still has not vomitted, had 101 temp, given Tylenol, finally asleep, only had an hour nap all day, did have some apple sauce, has been fussy, wants his mommy, nursing very often, has had wet diapers, hoping he rest good tonight....
(If you didn't see his six months pics because I have been posting about the sickness, take a look)

Doctor Update

First of all, let me say that going to the doctor is quite an experience. This was our first time on the "sick" side and it really freaked me out. You have all these sick toddlers and young kids running around sneezing, coughing, and all playing with the toys probably passing TONS of germs. I felt compelled to wash my hands and not let Nash touch anything. The wait was long. I'm sure there is a lot of sickness going around. Our doctor is always super busy and full but I really like her a lot so I think it is worth it. Nash still had 100.2 fever. They proceded with the well check all but the shots because he had fever. He weighs 17lbs and 11oz. He grew an inch. His growth and development are good as usual. He does have a stomach virus. The doctor said the best thing to do is continuing breast feeding whenever he wants to, perferably more frequent and less amount of time. When he can go without vomiting 12 hours then he can have solids. He has only vomitted the one time but she said he probably will again. She said it should pass in 24 to 72 hours. He also needs to have at least one wet diaper in 8 hours. He's already had a couple this morning and tends to pee a lot. The amazing thing to me was that my breast milk makes antibodies for what he has. How does this happen? How does my body know what he needs? Pretty amazing. I think it's a God thing. That is the only way I could explain it. God gave us the ability to provide what we need for our kids. I was getting a little frustrated still breast feeding because I did not see an end in sight but now I am pumped back up on the idea after I realize how good it is for him. So, I will probably continue through the cold and flu season. I told her about him scarfing his food down. She said he can have the stage 2 food now and at 7 months he can start the stage 3. Each stage apparently just has more in it and is thicker. Right now he is still on 1's so we will use those up and then start the others.
Also, Chris is home sick. He has sinusitis but then his stomach started bothering him. It will be a miracle if I come out of this and not get sick. I plan on washing my hands A LOT! Hope everyone stays well. Apparently there is a lot of nasty stuff going around.

Nash is sick :(

This morning Nash woke up a little after 5 am. I went to feed him. He normally goes back to sleep until 7am. He seem more awake, not wanting to go back to sleep, but not really happy either. So, I went ahead and got him dressed, put him in the swing, and turned on PBS so I could get in the shower. I checked on him when I got out and he was kind of coughing and all the sudden his mouth filled up with clear liquid and it poured out everywhere. He soaked through his blanket, overalls, and shirt. I checked his temp and he has 100.2. So I called and got a doctor's appointment for today. I don't think they are going to be able to give him his shots and do his 6 month well check now that he is sick which I guess is good news for him but I hate that he is sick. He has not been sick until now and it makes me sad. He just kind of lays there. He hasn't thrown up again (yet) and I hope he doesn't. I will update after his doctor's appointment. The previous post was done earlier in the week and just posted today in case you're confused.

6 Months Old

Can he be any cuter? I don't think so. You can't really tell on these pictures but his hair is growing in more and getting thicker. I am looking forward to when I can start spiking it up or give him a mohawk. The weird thing is sometimes his hair looks blond and sometimes it looks dark.

I can't believe my little boy is already six months old. He is sitting up pretty good and for longer periods of time. His appetite seems to have increased as he scarfs down his cereal and baby food. He is really interested in his hands. He puts them in front of his face, stares at them as he moves his fingers. He has started scooting some when he is on his belly. He likes to talk and babble and laugh. He is normally really happy unless he is tired or hungry. He is a silly boy and does things to make me laugh like right now he is bouncing in his bouncer laughing at me to get some attention. He loves his mommy and gives me hugs, kisses, and big smiles when I come home from work. His 6th month check up is Dec. 11th so I will update then on his weight, height, and all that fun stuff. He will also be getting the dreaded shots tomorrow so we will probably just hang out and I will baby him like I normally do on those days.

Braydi's Pageant

My best friend's little girl Braydi was in a pageant today. She did so good. She won 2nd runner up and Ms. Personality. She waved as soon as came out on the stage and was saying hi to everybody. Nash was keeping everyone entertained in the audience by talking and laughing. He got to see his Grammy and PawPaw Fields who always like to see him. They got their picture made together which was good at first until Braydi bear hugged Nash and scared him. I was glad we were able to go. Misty and I grew up together and I am sure Nash and Braydi will too.

Jumperoo

I've been meaning to put this video on here for the last week or so. For the last couple of weeks Nash is really taking to his jumperoo. This video cracks me up. He's so goofy.

Scooting and Sadie

Tonight I had Nash on the floor on his belly while I was doing some sit ups. Normally he does not like being on his belly for very long. This time was different. He seemed interested in it. He would get up on his hands, move his hands to the right, go back down on his belly, and repeat. After no time he about did a complete circle. He was happy about it. It's like he realized he just figured out a new trick. I praised him and talked about how good he did and he just smiled back.

Sadie has been really good with Nash from day one. Most of the time he just ignores him unless he is crying then Sadie goes and checks on him. Nash is very interested in Sadie. He watches everything he does. He wants to grab him. Tonight Nash was sitting on the floor and Sadie came and laid right beside him. He let him grab onto his hair and ears (which is a BIG deal). So maybe he is warming up to him and realizing this little boy is here to stay.

What a difference a year makes

Last year at Christmas I was barely three months pregnant, not really showing yet, and did not know if I was having a boy or a girl. One of Chris's presents was this 6-9 months sleeper (the smallest size I could find) because either way our child was going to have some Chief's clothes. Now my precious baby boy is almost 6 months and is wearing his Chief's sleeper. Time sure does fly and little did we know how sweet and cute he would be.

Exercising

My relationship with exercising has been off and on. Probably started in the 7th grade when I played basketball. The coach made us run a lot. I hated it at first but then got to where I enjoyed it. It was a challenge. I started having more energy and probably was more fit than I have ever been. I exercised on and off through high school. When I got college I ran/walked some and did water aerobics, and work out tapes. When Chris and I got married. I joined the rec center and did Yoga because friend of mine was teaching the class. I loved it. Then I got into really working out. I would run and do weights for my arms, legs, and stomach. I never thought I had an awesome body or anything it just felt better. I had more energy and felt stronger. When I got pregnant, I walked some but finally gave up because frankly I did not feel like it. Then just walking, I felt like I was dying because I had all the weight on me. So when I was home with Nash some I walked on my treadmill and walked outside some but nothing very consistent. I have been wanting to get back into it. I have a perfectly good treadmill at home. I have tons of excuses not to. I only have the morning and at night. There is no way I am getting up earlier than have to to exercise. So, I thought I could at least walk some when Nash goes to sleep. Last night I did and it did feel good. I like when I can feel it in my legs like I have done something. I also helps me reduce stress. So, I hope to get back in the habit of exercising. What tends to happen to me is I will miss a day or two and then totally stop. My goal is to do it three to four days a week (at least). I am writing about this because I feel like if I do I will be more motivated to continue. I have been at my pre-pregnancy weight for a while. However, things aren't as tight as they used to be. Mainly my stomach. I have never had rock hard abs but it has been better. I have been told that as long as I am breast feeding I will probably hang on the the extra fat (gross). It's natures way of making sure you don't starve your baby. As long as I can get that better by bathing suit season I will be happy. For now, I just want to have more energy and feel better. So, that is the motive for the exercise. We'll see how it goes.

Christmas Decorations

I really like my Christmas decorations this year, especially my tree. We got a new tree this year and I wanted it to look nice for our new house. I have a lot of other decorations but I am not getting them all out because I don't want to put them all up and I don't want tons of stuff out.

It's been a long weekend which has been good because I have not felt well. I accomplished getting the house decorated for Christmas but the last couple days I have just laid around. I just feel tired and my head hurts. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Thanksgiving

Nash with his great grandparents who are crazy about him.

Nash had a good first Thanksgiving. We had the Horton side of the family over. The food was really good as usual. Nash got passed around to all the relatives some that have not gotten to see him. He read his Turkey book and First Thanksgiving book. He took a couple of naps. Chris got to entertain with Rock Band which was a hit. We are about to watch a Christmas movie together which we are thinking will become our new Thanksgiving tradition (Chris's idea). I'm already in my PJ's drinking cappuccino, Nash has had his bath, and we are waiting for dad to come home with the movie. All and all a good Thanksgiving. Still not feeling great but I am enjoying spending time with my family. The holidays are so much more fun with my little guy here to complete it.

Feeling like DO DO

First of all, my visitor has been on its way since Monday and is expected any day now. Which by the way seems to be much worse since not having it for almost a year. So I am crampy, lower back hurts, and moody. Then yesterday started having a sore throat and feeling feverish. It came out of no where and got bad fast. So this morning I got in with my doctor who said I have the beginings of Strep Throat. Lovely! If the other wasn't enough and Thanksgiving being tomorrow. So, I took the day off, Dr's orders, started anti-biotics, and trying to pretend I don't feel as bad as I do. Also, this year we are having Thanksgiving at my house so the family who has not can see our new house. Thankfully my mother-in-law and husband have done A LOT to get everything ready. Just hoping that tomorrow I am feeling somewhat better so I am not rude to our guests. Thankfully, Nash has been a good boy and played and we have taken a couple of naps together. I hate being sick, espically on a holiday (Nash's first Thanksgiving). Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry for the downer, just had to get it out. Good news is I am off of work all the way until Tuesday so I am hoping to be able to start decorating for Christmas (if I am feeling better).

Nash's clothes

Let me start out by acknowedging how crazy, obsessive, or whatever adjective you want to put there that I am. I know I definately think way too much about things. This was true before I had Nash and probably is 100 times worse since having another life I am responsible for. Nash fits in his 6-9 months clothes now. They aren't too big and they aren't small on him either. They fit good. However, some of his 3-6 he can fit in but don't fit him as good as his 6-9. So, it is time for me to go through his clothes again. (By the way, my husband makes fun of me for "organizing" Nash's things all the time). This is where the crazy comes in. It is a difficult task for me to do because of my crazy. I think "I don't want to put that up yet I really like that outfit"(even though he can't wear it any more), "he didn't get to wear that" or "he only wore that once". I also have the tendency to not try his bigger size on him yet because I think it is too big and then I wash it and he only wears it a few times. So I have gotten better about that and now like to try his bigger things on him. The last time I started putting things up I got really sad. To the point of tears in the eyes. Seeing his little newborn sleepers and stuff he wore in the hospital and how little it is and how big he has gotten. In fact,I had them in the box in his closet for the longest and finally had Chris take them to the attic which again made me sad. Chris doesn't get it. He thinks they are just clothes. Then I have kept EVERYTHING. I think should I be keeping EVERYTHING? What do I do with it? How long do I keep it for? I have thought of giving some things to people that are having babies or have a baby younger than Nash that I am not that attached to. Then I feel guilty about having all these clothes, some that he has not even worn when there are babies out there in need of clothes. The only practical reason I am keeping everything is IF we have another baby and IF it is a boy and IF it is born around the same time he could use them. I digress. So, I need to get myself together. Go through the clothes. Give some away and keep some. I guess later down the road IF we aren't using them and I feel better about getting rid of them then they could still go to someone that would be in need of them. I think my main issues is the strong attachment I have to Nash's little clothes and bigger issue is I am sad he is getting so big so fast. I want to hold on to him being a baby. See I told you I was crazy and obsessive and having Nash only makes it worse! Now you probably feel sorry for my husband but I am crazy and obsessive about him too!

Nash meets Santa for the first time.

Nash went to see Santa today. We were at the mall and I notice Santa was already there. There was no line or like one kid. So, I bought him a little outfit and we got to see Santa. He LOVED Santa and cuddled with him. He just kept staring at him and hugging him. He rubbed up close to his furry suit and beard. Mrs. Claus was not very nice she would only let me take a few pictures with my camera and of course I can't stop myself so I got some good pictures.

Thankful

With Thanksgiving about a week away I thought I would write about some of the things I am Thankful for. I realize I have a lot to be thankful for and have been truly blessed.
First of all, my husband, I have no doubt in my mind that God put us together. He is such a fun, sweet, good, handsome man! I tear up just thinking about it. Most people that don't know him that well think he is quiet or shy but just be around him a little more or a little longer and you will soon see that this is not the case. He also has a good heart. He loves the Lord and is sensitive to other's needs. He is great with the kids he works with and they all LOVE him. I think he is doing what he has been called to do and is truly a blessing to the kids he teaches and coaches. He loves our son and is so proud of him. He is also very sensitive with him if he feels like he is upset or something is wrong.
Of course, I am thankful for Nash and can't imagine my life without him even though he has only been in it a short time. He is such a sweet boy. He loves his mommy. He is so fun and funny to me. I am thankful he is happy and healthy and it is just icing on the cake that he is so adoreable! He realy fulfills my life. I am thankful to be his mommy!
Family and friends are a blessing. As many of you know, my mom and mother-in-law keep Nash for me. I can't begin to tell you how much of a blessing that is to know he is with someone that loves him everyday and takes such good care of him. They even help me around the house! I am thankful that I have such good family and friends who love me and my family and are involved and supportive of us. Most people may not have the nicest things to say about their in-laws but mine have been great to me. I remember one of mine and Chris's first dates he came up to Fayetteville with his parents for an award his dad was getting and when I saw them for the first time since we had been dating they both hugged me and were very supportive of our relationship. That meant a lot to me and still does. I have wonderful family that I know would be there if I ever needed anything and that is good to know. I have friends that I have had from childhood that would do the same.
I am thankful to be in the field that I have always wanted to be in. I am glad to have the opportunity to help others. Looking back, I am amazed I have made it where I am now. I have been a driven person as far as my education but it was not me that did this. It was God! It's like He gave me the ability and the drive to get where I am now. It kind of amazes me because I was not really pushed in this direction, or had lots of opportunity or natural intelligence, odds are if you look back at my life objectively that I would not be colleged educated, with a Mater's Degree, and where I am at now. That's why I say "It's a God thing". I am thankful for my family that even though this was not their path, they were supportive of me in my education and proud of my accomplishments.
I am thankful for our wonderful home. Chris and I lived in a very small one bedroom apartment above my grandmother's house for 4 years (which I am also thankful for this opportunity). This allowed us to save money, pay off some things, and buy our lot. My father-in-law built us an amazing house and several peopled helped us out. We would not have ever been able to be in the house we are in now without everyone's help. We love our new home and it really does feel like "home" now and we are never moving!
Wow! It sure feels good to count your blessings! Hope everyone does the same and has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

sleepy boy

Nash has been in such a good mood today and tonight. I think I figured him out though because he only gets this silly before he gets sleepy. The littlest thing made him laugh A LOT then the next thing I know he is fussy and asleep. I think he gets that from me. I get giddy and goofy when I am super tired. Either way, I thought this video was cute.

Homecoming

My two handsome men! Last night was Homecoming for the school Chris teaches at and has gone to since he was 4. We had a good night and took lots a pictures. We made it through the Jr. Boys game and half of the senior boys.

Nash sitting on the OWLS bench chair.

Nash with the Homecoming queen and some of the court!

Nash and Makenna (Chris's good friend's little girl)

Nash and Carter (basketball player and one of Chris's favorite kids

Nash and Hannah (cheerleader and used to be our neighbor)