Thanksgiving

Nash with his great grandparents who are crazy about him.

Nash had a good first Thanksgiving. We had the Horton side of the family over. The food was really good as usual. Nash got passed around to all the relatives some that have not gotten to see him. He read his Turkey book and First Thanksgiving book. He took a couple of naps. Chris got to entertain with Rock Band which was a hit. We are about to watch a Christmas movie together which we are thinking will become our new Thanksgiving tradition (Chris's idea). I'm already in my PJ's drinking cappuccino, Nash has had his bath, and we are waiting for dad to come home with the movie. All and all a good Thanksgiving. Still not feeling great but I am enjoying spending time with my family. The holidays are so much more fun with my little guy here to complete it.

Feeling like DO DO

First of all, my visitor has been on its way since Monday and is expected any day now. Which by the way seems to be much worse since not having it for almost a year. So I am crampy, lower back hurts, and moody. Then yesterday started having a sore throat and feeling feverish. It came out of no where and got bad fast. So this morning I got in with my doctor who said I have the beginings of Strep Throat. Lovely! If the other wasn't enough and Thanksgiving being tomorrow. So, I took the day off, Dr's orders, started anti-biotics, and trying to pretend I don't feel as bad as I do. Also, this year we are having Thanksgiving at my house so the family who has not can see our new house. Thankfully my mother-in-law and husband have done A LOT to get everything ready. Just hoping that tomorrow I am feeling somewhat better so I am not rude to our guests. Thankfully, Nash has been a good boy and played and we have taken a couple of naps together. I hate being sick, espically on a holiday (Nash's first Thanksgiving). Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. Sorry for the downer, just had to get it out. Good news is I am off of work all the way until Tuesday so I am hoping to be able to start decorating for Christmas (if I am feeling better).

Nash's clothes

Let me start out by acknowedging how crazy, obsessive, or whatever adjective you want to put there that I am. I know I definately think way too much about things. This was true before I had Nash and probably is 100 times worse since having another life I am responsible for. Nash fits in his 6-9 months clothes now. They aren't too big and they aren't small on him either. They fit good. However, some of his 3-6 he can fit in but don't fit him as good as his 6-9. So, it is time for me to go through his clothes again. (By the way, my husband makes fun of me for "organizing" Nash's things all the time). This is where the crazy comes in. It is a difficult task for me to do because of my crazy. I think "I don't want to put that up yet I really like that outfit"(even though he can't wear it any more), "he didn't get to wear that" or "he only wore that once". I also have the tendency to not try his bigger size on him yet because I think it is too big and then I wash it and he only wears it a few times. So I have gotten better about that and now like to try his bigger things on him. The last time I started putting things up I got really sad. To the point of tears in the eyes. Seeing his little newborn sleepers and stuff he wore in the hospital and how little it is and how big he has gotten. In fact,I had them in the box in his closet for the longest and finally had Chris take them to the attic which again made me sad. Chris doesn't get it. He thinks they are just clothes. Then I have kept EVERYTHING. I think should I be keeping EVERYTHING? What do I do with it? How long do I keep it for? I have thought of giving some things to people that are having babies or have a baby younger than Nash that I am not that attached to. Then I feel guilty about having all these clothes, some that he has not even worn when there are babies out there in need of clothes. The only practical reason I am keeping everything is IF we have another baby and IF it is a boy and IF it is born around the same time he could use them. I digress. So, I need to get myself together. Go through the clothes. Give some away and keep some. I guess later down the road IF we aren't using them and I feel better about getting rid of them then they could still go to someone that would be in need of them. I think my main issues is the strong attachment I have to Nash's little clothes and bigger issue is I am sad he is getting so big so fast. I want to hold on to him being a baby. See I told you I was crazy and obsessive and having Nash only makes it worse! Now you probably feel sorry for my husband but I am crazy and obsessive about him too!

Nash meets Santa for the first time.

Nash went to see Santa today. We were at the mall and I notice Santa was already there. There was no line or like one kid. So, I bought him a little outfit and we got to see Santa. He LOVED Santa and cuddled with him. He just kept staring at him and hugging him. He rubbed up close to his furry suit and beard. Mrs. Claus was not very nice she would only let me take a few pictures with my camera and of course I can't stop myself so I got some good pictures.

Thankful

With Thanksgiving about a week away I thought I would write about some of the things I am Thankful for. I realize I have a lot to be thankful for and have been truly blessed.
First of all, my husband, I have no doubt in my mind that God put us together. He is such a fun, sweet, good, handsome man! I tear up just thinking about it. Most people that don't know him that well think he is quiet or shy but just be around him a little more or a little longer and you will soon see that this is not the case. He also has a good heart. He loves the Lord and is sensitive to other's needs. He is great with the kids he works with and they all LOVE him. I think he is doing what he has been called to do and is truly a blessing to the kids he teaches and coaches. He loves our son and is so proud of him. He is also very sensitive with him if he feels like he is upset or something is wrong.
Of course, I am thankful for Nash and can't imagine my life without him even though he has only been in it a short time. He is such a sweet boy. He loves his mommy. He is so fun and funny to me. I am thankful he is happy and healthy and it is just icing on the cake that he is so adoreable! He realy fulfills my life. I am thankful to be his mommy!
Family and friends are a blessing. As many of you know, my mom and mother-in-law keep Nash for me. I can't begin to tell you how much of a blessing that is to know he is with someone that loves him everyday and takes such good care of him. They even help me around the house! I am thankful that I have such good family and friends who love me and my family and are involved and supportive of us. Most people may not have the nicest things to say about their in-laws but mine have been great to me. I remember one of mine and Chris's first dates he came up to Fayetteville with his parents for an award his dad was getting and when I saw them for the first time since we had been dating they both hugged me and were very supportive of our relationship. That meant a lot to me and still does. I have wonderful family that I know would be there if I ever needed anything and that is good to know. I have friends that I have had from childhood that would do the same.
I am thankful to be in the field that I have always wanted to be in. I am glad to have the opportunity to help others. Looking back, I am amazed I have made it where I am now. I have been a driven person as far as my education but it was not me that did this. It was God! It's like He gave me the ability and the drive to get where I am now. It kind of amazes me because I was not really pushed in this direction, or had lots of opportunity or natural intelligence, odds are if you look back at my life objectively that I would not be colleged educated, with a Mater's Degree, and where I am at now. That's why I say "It's a God thing". I am thankful for my family that even though this was not their path, they were supportive of me in my education and proud of my accomplishments.
I am thankful for our wonderful home. Chris and I lived in a very small one bedroom apartment above my grandmother's house for 4 years (which I am also thankful for this opportunity). This allowed us to save money, pay off some things, and buy our lot. My father-in-law built us an amazing house and several peopled helped us out. We would not have ever been able to be in the house we are in now without everyone's help. We love our new home and it really does feel like "home" now and we are never moving!
Wow! It sure feels good to count your blessings! Hope everyone does the same and has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

sleepy boy

Nash has been in such a good mood today and tonight. I think I figured him out though because he only gets this silly before he gets sleepy. The littlest thing made him laugh A LOT then the next thing I know he is fussy and asleep. I think he gets that from me. I get giddy and goofy when I am super tired. Either way, I thought this video was cute.

Homecoming

My two handsome men! Last night was Homecoming for the school Chris teaches at and has gone to since he was 4. We had a good night and took lots a pictures. We made it through the Jr. Boys game and half of the senior boys.

Nash sitting on the OWLS bench chair.

Nash with the Homecoming queen and some of the court!

Nash and Makenna (Chris's good friend's little girl)

Nash and Carter (basketball player and one of Chris's favorite kids

Nash and Hannah (cheerleader and used to be our neighbor)

Birth Story

Crisit's birth story made me think about mine. Even though it was far different and not very pleasent, it was definately a experience I won't forget. I went to the doctor for my ususal check up. My cervix had been so far back that it was difficult for her to reach. When she finally got to it (Yes that was very painful), she said I had progressed some (maybe 1 1/2 and a little bit more effaced). She stated that she could go ahead an schedule an induction hoping that when labor started my cervix would "swing back around". I was giddy about this. Went home, Chris and I packed and headed for the hospital. However, I was very nieve about what this meant. They had to insert a pill every four hours to help me dialate more and efface more. I did not know I would be strapped down to the bed with all these machines hooked up to me in my hosptial gown. Nor did I know how painful it would be to have these things inserted with my cervix so far back. However, the first one was inserted and the contractions came full force. I was in a lot of pain and could not get comfortable. The nurse said that the important thing was for me to sleep tonight because tomorrow the induction would start and it would be a long day. So, I was given pain pills and sleep medication. I remember when she checked me the second time to insert the pill. She said I was at 3 1/2 and starting to efface good and inserted the next pill. Mind you I was in a fog from the medication. Then I remember her coming in saying the baby's heart rate is droppng and they are going to keep an eye on it. Next thing I know they say, we called your doctor, she is on her way, and we are going to have to do a c-seciton. I went on pure auto pilot or addernaline out of my stedated state and called family members to tell them. This was about at 3:00 am. The next thing I remember was being in the surgery room. My doctor was talking to me and the guy gave me a spinal tap. They were touching my stomach and asked me if I felt anything. I said yes. They said we are going to have to put you to sleep. The whole time I was asking where Chris was because I saw him get suited up but he was not back there with me. He ended up not being able to stay in there with me because I was sadated and it was a little scarey with Nash's heart rate dropping. Nash was born at 3:19am. I really don't know what my next memory was but at some point I woke up and they handed me Nash. I was SO EMOTIONAL. I cried all day and was in and out of conscousness thinking I did not get to see my son. Even though I had and apparently other than Chris was the first person to hold him. Apparently I would not let go of him either and he just slept on my chest all day while I was asleep. I remember how sweet and cute he was. I called him "sweet pea". I was a wreck all the first day and don't remember much of it other than bits and peices and apparently was not very modest like I usually am as far as breastfeeding goes. I apparently said some crazy things and somewhere it is on tape. I kept asking people who all was there or what happened when they thought I remembered.
So not the best birth story. Turns out with how big his head was and how little I am, the nurse said I probably would not have been able to have him vaginally anyways. The good things that came out of it was the Chris got to be such a big part of his birth. He got to hold him first, carry him to the nursery, watch the bath and the nurse checking him out and he was so excited. Nash apparently did a little push up when he was first born. Dad was so proud. He got to take pictures in the nursery. Bad parts are my lack of memory for the experience, my awful pictures from being druged, and my eyes swelled up from crying so much. Also, it was a scarey situation but very thankful that Nash was healthy and did not have any complications from the birth and that I was sedated enough not to know how scarey it really was.

I Passed!

Most people did not know but I took my licensure test for my LCSW test yesterday and passed!!! I know that most of you don't know what that is but it's the highest level I can get with my Master's degree. Now for the Ph.D. (just kidding). Maybe somewhere down the road. I was so nervous about it all day yesterday and now I am just excited and glad it is done. A pretty big accomplishment in my book! I still kind of in shock about it. My professors and supervisiors and mentors have all been LCSW's and now I am. Doesn't seem real.

He's getting so big!!!

I've been a little sad lately about how big Nash is getting. When I pick him up he feels so much heavier. He doesn't feel like a baby anymore. He was already 16lbs at 4 months. I used to be able to put him anywhere in his bed. Now when I put him in his bed, if I put him too close to the one side his feet hit his acqurium and too close to the other his moble is in the way. I usually nurse him and he falls asleep at night or he get fussy and I just give him his passy and cover him up with his blanket and he moans and grabs at his blanket until he falls asleep. Last night, I rocked him and charished it. I realized I am not going to be able to do this much longer and him feel anything like a baby. He already hangs off my lap when I rock him and feels big to still be nursing. It does not help that I am so little. It just makes me sad. I can tear up just thinking about it. On a brighter note, he did reach out for me this morning which brought tears to my eyes. Also when I come home, he grins at me real big like he his happy to see me. He gives me hugs and tries to eat my face. First thing in the morning or when I am nursing him, he just stops, looks at me and smiles and starts back. So sweet. I am not ready for him to be so big that he does want his momma anymore. I don't know that I can handle that.

Things I would like to do

I have been thinking about things I am interested in but maybe don't have the natural ability or haven't had the opportunity, time, or the motivation to do anything about. I guess their are certian people that have gifts, talents, experience, or the knowledge about things that I wish I had. A lot of times, I say if I can just have that part of that person's brain or ability that would be nice. Maybe in my lifetime I could do some of these but some are probably not all are realistic. (in no real order)
1. to be able to garden
2.to be able to cook
3. to be able to travel
4. to be able to sing
5. to be ble to play the piano
6. to have a Ph.D.
7. to have a specialty
8. to be able to run a marathon
9. to be crafty
10. to go on mission trips (as an adult)
11. to volunteer
12. spend more time reading
13. have a pool
14. be more knowlegable in a lot of areas (Bible, politics, my profession)
Right now, I am pretty content being a wife and mom. I have always wanted to be a wife and mom so that tops the chart for me right now. Maybe some of these other things will come along the way.

Nash and Hannah

We ate at American Pie Pizza. Nash and Hannah just kind of looked at each ohter, grabbed at each other, grabbed stuff on the table, did their own thing, and put things in their mouths. Hannah's dad said that this was her first date and he wanted her home by 8:00 (she made her curfew with penty of time)! I think they just liked being around another "baby".

5 Months Old (November 10th)

Nash will be 5 Months on Monday November 10th. He is such a sweet boy and so fun. I take pictures every month. Especially in his baseball glove chair to see how big he is getting. The diaper one is during the wardrobe change which he hates but was distracted by the tv. I like his chubby little self so I thought that was a good one. He has been a good boy and really has liked all his new food except for carrots. He has been sleeping better since his 4 month appointment and has started taking a lot of naps during the day. He is still blowing bubbles and squealing. He also can set up for a few minutes before falling over. This Friday he got his first pedicure while I was getting my hair cut. I hate to cut his toe nails and a lady from the salon said she would do it. He of course was ate up by all the women in the salon. He enjoyed it. He likes to watch me dry my hair because he sees my hair flying all over the place. I also started wrapping Christmas presents last night (I know I'm crazy) but Nash enjoyed it. It gave him a taste of what Christmas is going to be like for him. He got to play with the left over paper and put it in his mouth. We are supposed to eat dinner with a friend of mine from grad school and her little girl tonight. It will be the first time they have met. He is going to have a lot of little girls to choose from but mommy is going to be the only girl in his life for a while!!! I love my sweet little boy!

Nash's other new trick

Here lately Nash likes to squeal and/or blow bubbles. Here's what I mean by blow bubbles. He was a little fussy in this video.

another one?

The idea of having another baby right now is totally out of the question (as far as what is in my control) but there is the question of whether we will have another one. Frankly, I don't know. I hear you have to have another one so you can have a little girl. One, how do you know that you will have a girl? Two, I like my boy just fine. Several things go through my head. When I was pregnant with Nash, I did want a boy. To me they just seemed like more fun and I wanted a "momma's boy" and someone to carry the Horton name. However, when I found out I was having a boy I was real excited but then I thought what do I know about boys and what about all the fun things I did as a girl like sleep overs, etc. With that said, I am not a real girlie girl. I like sports and not into all the trendy things. If I had a girl she would likely be the same way which I would be okay with. However, if we did have another one and it was a boy I would be okay with that too (two momma's boys!). I definately at that point would be DONE. I can't imagine having three. The idea of having another one seems mighty difficult. I am the primary care giver and I have to think what would I do if I had two right now. It would be awfully hectic. It feels hectic with just one. So, I am okay with just having one as well. I can give my time and engery into one child. I have heard all the arguements against only children. You don't want them to be lonely, spoiled, and yada yada yada. I get it. But they are often times very successful. (Tiger Woods is an only child) They also have the benefit, as far as birth order, of the oldest and the baby. I am also a big tight wad and money issues really get to me. I think could we afford two?? Not just now but long term. Looking at the Toys R Us add puts things in prespective. There are these hot toy items that are mighty expensive. I saw one thing in there for $600. That is just crazy! I remember when my sister-in-law had my nephew (the first grandchild on both sides), that week (maybe even that day) people were asking when are you going to have another one. I thought "Whoa! Are you serious? She just had this one". So, that is where I am at now. I just had my first child almost five months ago. I am new at this whole thing and rolling along trying to do the best I can not really thinking about another one. I could however see myself being more and more sad as Nash keeps getting bigger and not being so babish any more wanting another baby but they grow too fast and don't stay babies for long. So where I stand right now is we will see. I am not ruling it out but I'm not ruling it in either. Idealy I would like several things in place if we were going to have another one (money issues, bigger vehicle, being able to spend more time at home, etc). That is idealy and probalby all that would not happen but I would at least want to wait until Nash was older and could be more independent. I love my son SOOO MUCH and can't imagine loving another one like that but I hear you just do. Also, I think we are so blessed to have a healthy and happy child. What if we were not so blessed next time? A lot to think about but I am not thinking about it any time soon. Like I said, we will see.

I Voted

Yes, I did it. I had so much anxiety about it I had to do it and get it over with. While this election has been exciting, I will be glad when it is done (one more day). I am getting tired of the adds, the news, the signs. It gets to be TOO MUCH. However, I did enjoy the process. It is somewhat exciting. I tried to go three different times and the wait was over an hour. So the last time I just stuck it out( 1 hour and 45mins.). I talked to people in line, saw people I haven't seen in a long time. It seems to be somewhat of an excitment in the air. I think this year people are voting more than they ever had and are more passionate then they have been in some time. People are waiting in long lines all day even for early voting for their voices to be heard. Afterwards, I felt better. More like an American and that I did my civil duty and right. I think it is also interesting that no one in line gets into a political argument. They were pleasent and going through the process like everyone else. The man next to me made me feel better though because he said the same thing that I said. He was not crazy about either one but wanted to vote. His reason is that he "wanted to be able to complain". I thought that was funny. I can breathe a little easier now. My part is over and it will be interesting to see how election day goes.

Nash's Squeal

I guess this is Nash's new thing because he has been doing it a lot. He is not upset. I think he just likes to hear himself. Sometimes his squeal is so high pitched that no sound comes out. Tonight I heard him from downstairs when he was upstairs in the tv room. He's also been blowing bubbles but I have not recorded that yet.