Griffin's 1st Month

Griffin at 1 month

Some times it feels like its been a month or more and other times it totally doesn't. The first week alone felt like it was month but then again he's really only been home 3 weeks. Griffin has been all and all a good baby. The only time he really gets fussy if he's hungry or his stomach is bothering him. He has had some stomach issues and spits up more than I would like but nothing terrible. He sleeps a lot which I am not used to. Nash was AWAKE most of the time. He's the opposite. He sleeps 2-3 hours most of the time with a regular 3-4 hour stretch in there. He prefers being held and laying on me most of the time. If he's laying on me asleep, he's good. I put him down. Maybe 5 minutes later he is crying. I pick him up and we are good again. He's nursing and is doing that well. We haven't tried the bottle yet but need to do that soon to see how he does. He isn't a fan of the paci and spits it out. His brother was the complete opposite. I have gotten him to take it for short periods when he was real fussy but that's about it. He has his one month appointment next week. I know he's put on some weight because he is feeling out but it'll be interesting to see how much he weighs. He doesn't like being put in the car seat but once we go he's fine. He has gone a lot more than Nash at this age. We didn't take Nash to church until he was 1 month. Griffin has already been twice and all our Christmas outings and a couple of other outings. He does fairly well with it all. I am enjoying my time loving on my sweet little boy.  Nash likes to love on him too.

Christmas 2011

It was a busy Christmas as always with several familes to visit with a new little one in tow.

 (maybe the only family picture we took this Christmas so we'll take what we can get)

 Nash got this cool train that a good friend of the family who passed away recently made for him.

 Poppy's first time holding Griffin

Nash's scooter that he mastered fairly quickly.

 One of his favorites. His "polar express" train.

 This was Griffin's first Christmas and being three weeks old this is what he did most of it.  I know next year will be totally different. Big brother got to help him open his presents. He got a bunch of things too even though he'll never remember it.

 The cousins around Griffin's chair.

Nash and daddy playing the Cars 2 game Santa brought him.

Nash was very excited this Christmas. Mainly about opening presents. He liked his gifts but was more excited just to open them. Christmas morning when he saw the gifts around the tree. He said "look! Santa's been here". Can't  tell you how many times we threatened him with the whole naughy and nice thing but hey it was effective!

2011 Christmas Program

Nash's class sang three songs. He did perfect. Sang all the songs, paid attention, keep hands and feet to himself.

Every year they make Christmas shirts.  I heart them!

 They had a book exchange. Nash rather keep his Cars 2 book so he traded with his friend Makenna who was very easy going about it. He was happy to have baby Griffin there and Mawmaw, Pawpaw, Mimi, and Poppy.

Nash and Mrs. Mindy. Afterwards they had milk and cookies.

My sweet boy is growing up so fast. If there is one thing that I realized after having Griffin is how fast they grow up. I get sad about how big Nash is and how much time has gone by. I look at Griffin who reminds me so much of Nash as a baby and then I see this big smart happy funny sweet boy and I try to remember how he got that way and cherish all of it because it happens so fast!

Our first week home

So today marks our first week home with Griffin even though he is two weeks old. That feels so weird to say. We've had a lot of firsts in this first week.

First Bath-He didn't like it. As a rule he doesn't like to be messed with. Been messed with too much already.

 First dr's visit-He is doing beautifully. Gained 6 ozs in 4 days. Just a 1 1/2oz from birth weight.

 First visitors

 First outing to big brother's Christmas program at school.

He also had his first photo shoot where we got some really good pictures. Also, had to return to the hospital for his circumcision which was traumatic for him and I. He is a good baby. Sleeps a lot but is waking up more often. Eats good. Poops and pees a lot. Especially on me and his clothes. As you can see his big brother is crazy about him. When we went to Nash's performance, Nash saw us and the first thing he said was "where's my baby?" He is sleeping in our bedroom in his play yard. He has had some long stretches of sleep about 4 hours. Mainly is up every 2-3 but goes right back to sleep.  We are coasting right along...

Keepin it real

It stinks to have what you thought to be a pretty bad birth experience the first time around and now would give anything to have that experience the second time because the second one was way worse.
It stinks to only get to hold your baby for an hour and half after birth.
It stinks to watch your day old child who you have only seen for an hour or so be med flighted to another hospital and you not be able to go with him.
It stinks to be in a hospital for giving birth and not have your baby there with you and then to make matters worse see others with their babies or hear other babies cry in the middle of the night.
It stinks to get a call saying that your baby had to require 100 percent oxygen and is now on a vent.
It stinks to go see your baby a day after having a c-section hooked up to a vent, quivering, and breathing hard.
It stinks for everyone to tell you how common this is when it doesn't matter how common it is when its your baby that is going through it.
It stinks to go visit your baby and every time see new mothers being wheeled out taking their babies home and your being wheeled up to see your baby who is on a vent in the NICU.
It stinks to see your baby laying there hooked up to so many things and have to fight back the super strong urge to pick them up and hold them.
It stinks to get your hopes up that your baby is improving or get estimates on when things will be better only to be let down a million times.
Its good to know your child's doctor made the right call and that if she hadn't things good have been a lot worse.
Its good to watch your 3 yr old son still be in love with his little brother and not concerned because he doesn't know any better.
It's wonderful to have family/friends/church family be very supportive.
It's wonderful to feel a peace about things that aren't so peaceful.
Its great to know that even though your baby is away from you he is being taken really good care of and you can call and visit any time you want.
It's great that even though I haven't gotten to nurse my baby I've been able to pump and have a milk supply stocked up and waiting on him when he is ready.
It was good to actually be awake for your baby's birth and at least have good memories of it.
It has been the longest and toughest 3 day or 4 days of my life.

The Story of Griffin

Well Griffin is here but just not home yet. His birth story started on Monday November 28th where I went to my 38 week appointment. I thought this would be an uneventful appointment as they weren't even checking me as I had a scheduled C-Section the following Monday December 5th. However, I get on the ole so lovely scale and had gained 6 and 1/2 lbs in one week. I was shocked because really I hadn't been eating as much because I felt so full and my blood pressure was high. I was trying to figure out where all this weight came from. When my doctor came in I asked her how it was possible to gain so much weight in a week. She was concerned. She looked at my legs and they were very tight and swollen. She felt like the majority of the weight was fluid and my blood pressure was high. She was afraid that it would be good for me or Griffin to wait til Monday so she said I could come in that Tuesday or Wednesday for a C-Section. I couldn't wrap my head around it that fast so I choose to go in on Wednesday. She had me on complete bed rest that night and the next day. I was at the very least freaking out trying to wrap my head around what all needed to be done at home and at work before then. I got it together. I spent Tuesday resting and doing work stuff.  I tried to sleep Tuesday night and maybe got 4 hours of sleep as we had to be there bright and early at 5:30am and the C-Section was scheduled for 7:30.

So, the day of I was excited and nervous. I felt like I was going through this for the first time as I don't remember much of Nash's birth so I did talk to my best friend who had her c-section a couple of weeks ago and she walked me through what to expect which was helpful. So we get there, sign in,  get in the gown, get hooked up to monitors, get the iv started, and we are well on our way. As I was hooked up to the monitor I started having contractions 4-5 mins apart so this baby was coming one or way the other. I had family there with me as we were getting ready. The nurses and doctors were all super nice. I explained how I was nervous because the spinal tap didn't work last time to find out that apparently in 2008 they had a "bad batch" (no lie). We get back there and the spinal tap was easy peasy and worked pretty quickly. It was the strangest feeling to have my legs tingly and numb. My doctor came in and assured that were just fine and this time would be better. She made the incision and said  I just made the incision and I was shocked because I barely felt anything. During the procedure there was a lot of pressure. Then when it was time for Griffin to come out they told me to take a deep breath and they pulled him out. It was the craziest feeling. I kept saying "oh my goodness, oh my goodness". I just couldn't believe it.  This is Griffin's first shot out of the womb. PRICELESS.

My doctor said he looks so much like Nash and Chris said the same thing. They put him on beside us as they were suctioning him out, getting him measured, etc. I was just amazed that he just came out of me. My first thought was "he's so small". The lady said "honey, he's not small". He was 7lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long at 38 weeks and 2 days. Nash was 7lbs 1oz and 20 inches long at 39 weeks and 3 days.

 I was so excited to get to hold him and it felt like forever until I got him. She laid him on my chest and wheeled me back to my room. Where he stayed on me for a good hour or so and his brother got to come back and see him and spend some time with him. Then family got to come in and see him.

 One of the few close ups with his eyes kind of open.

When he came out he coughed up a bunch of stuff and I kept asking if that was normal and they said it was. He got at 9.9 on the scale so it seemed like things were going to be fine. As most of you know things didn't turn out fine. We went back to our room and he was still coughing up stuff and grunting a lot. His color wasn't good so they took him back and found out his oxygen level was low. A very long story short is that he has what they call "wet lungs". It is apparently super common in caucasian males who are born a little early. They kept giving him oxygen and he wasn't responding. He wasn't getting much better and had to work hard to breathe so when the pediatrician came by she decided it would be best for him to transfer him to the NICU. Don't want to get into all the details because it's still pretty emotional for me but he's doing better and hopefully will get off the ventilator tomorrow and start breathing on his own. He got tired  of working so hard to breathe and needed some extra help and some medication to help clear up his lungs. He's still in the NICU and will be for a little bit but it should keep getting better daily and he has made major improvements in 24 hours.
I will have some more pics of Nash getting to see his brother. He is in love with him and calls him "my baby". He's not really asking too many questions and kind of doesn't know that what going on now is not normal.
As we get through the NICU part in the next week or so. I hope to be able to blog about that experience as well and about him coming home. That will be a great day!

Christmas Decor

This year's Christmas decorations.

I decided to put the Christmas tree in our dinning room this year. One reason is to have it  out of the way as we will need more room for baby things in our living room and another is because the train will go better on the tile than the carpet. 

 Nash is super excited about the train. We had it last year but getting it out this year you would think it was brand new and his favorite "toy" at the moment.

 I ordered new stockings since our family is complete now and we now have matching stockings with our names on them and matching stocking holders.

Our tree has some new stuff on it this year as well. The red ribbon, the star, and the things sticking out of it. It turned out really pretty.

Griffin Ready

So this week I had a week off for Thanksgiving break and my goal was to get everything ready for baby Griffin and have my Christmas stuff ready so I don't have to worry with it after he is born. I've done pretty good on my goal so far. I've bought a few last minute things that me and Griffin need, washed everything, put things up, cleaned out my car, and got the car seat in the car. I am for sure Griffin ready as far as I think I have everything that I need. 

So I thought it was time to post Griffin's nursery pics for those who haven't seen it.

As you know, I kept everything from Nash so the furniture and gear are the same. However, I changed the theme. I couldn't find bedding that I really liked in the store so I had a girl I know make it. I found some fabric that I liked and we went from there.  I thought it turned out real cute.

As far as the Christmas goal, got to finish decorating, all presents are bought, waiting for a few of them to come in, the ones I have are wrapped, and I got to get Chris' stocking stuffers. Hoping by the time Griffin gets here that all will be done. It gives me piece of mind to get as much done as I can so I will have less to worry with afterwards.
The plan is still a scheduled c-section December 5th unless he comes early. I hope we can stick to the plan this time but as I know from past experience, you never know.

Thanksgiving Program

 Today was Nash's Thanksgiving program at school. It later dawned on me that this will be his last Thanksgiving program with Mother's Day Out. This year they just go up to the three year olds so that  means next year he will either be at Abundant Life 4K or somewhere else. We haven't really decided yet.

They sang three songs "I'm a little turkey fat and round...", "Mr. Turkey, Mr. Turkey, run away, run away, If you don't be careful, you will be a mouthful on Thanksgiving Day, Thanksgiving Day", and "If you're thankful and you know it...". It was very cute and bittersweet for this mommy.

 Then we had a Thanksgiving lunch that was very good. Nash seemed to enjoyed it and liked playing with his friends

Coloring while waiting on the food. I think he was a bit sleepy.

A funny part that I want to remember from this day was while we were eating they played a slide show of different pics from the year and he really enjoyed it. There is this one girl in this class who he says is "mean". We have heard about her for awhile. Well, while we were watching the slideshow, he saw her picture and said "hey mommy!.There's the mean girl." I'm glad there weren't many people sitting right around us. Nash is funny like that and says stuff like that all the time. It reminds me so much of his dad. Chris always says goofy stuff like that. I remember when we were dating and we were looking through some of his old stuff and there was a folder thing that had stuff he wrote when he was like six. In it he talked about a girl that was mean to him at a field trip and he said he hoped she got stung by a bee. When I read it I laughed so hard because I could see him saying the same thing now and now I have a little mini Chris who says stuff like that at 3 yrs old. So, there will be plenty more embarrassing moments in the future I'm sure.

Either way, he keeps me laughing (both of them) and I am very thankful for my boys! (Chris, Nash, and baby Griffin). Wouldn't trade them for anything.

attitude of gratitude

So, most of you who know me know I have certain qualms about Christmas and gift giving. Not that I think gift giving is wrong but I don't think there should be an obligation to give just because at this family's gathering we get for these people (that we see maybe once a year who most of the time don't really need any gifts) because that's just what we do. Also the amount of gift giving in general has really gotten out of control in my opinion which only gets people away from the true meaning of Christmas. I'm all about giving to the less fortunate but after we meet all our obligations to give for us there is not much money left over to give to others which is sad to me and I am really at a loss about what to do about it.
This brings me to my point. At church last week our preacher talks about thanksgiving. Every year he does this for a few weeks and emphases the importance of it. He brought up the illustration of how kids get a huge stack of presents at family get togethers and rip through the packages without even knowing who they came from and then wonder if they got any more. While he was saying all that I was totally on board because I couldn't agree more and hate that. Then he  got me with comparing it to what we do with God. God blesses us in so many ways and we rip through all the blessings he gives us without thanking him and half the time even recognizing that they are blessings from God not something we have done or something we are entitled to and then we have the nerve to ask God for more or complain because we want something He hasn't given us yet. 
I don't know about you but it hit home to me. It's not that I am not  thankful and grateful person because I think I am and feel that way in my heart however I don't think I praise God for what he has done and is doing in my life like I need to however I am really quick to ask him to do things for me or others that I know that are going through something. He challenge was for us to praise more than or as much as we pray. Something I need to work on doing.
I see all the posts on Facebook where people post each day something they are thankful for. I have done it some in the past but some times it annoys me (doesn't take much these days) but now I am thinking at least they are taking time out of their day to voice something that they are thankful for rather gripe about what's going wrong in their lives. This is something I want to work on. Not just at Thanksgiving but year around to have an attitude to gratitude and to voice my thankfulness to God and others as much if not more than I voice my discontentment or need/want of things.

Halloween 2011 "the year of the apple"

 So, Halloween 2011 with Nash as Percy the train was a success.  We just decided to trick or treat around our house this year and I wasn't even sure I was up for that. So, Nash decided to take his wagon.

This is Nash at the first house we go to. They have this big basket of candy and three apples and Nash chooses...

 ..the apple...the lady was so shocked. She said "I didn't think anyone would want the apples but I thought I would try". The lady was so impressed with Nash and tried to offer him some candy but Nash was just fine with his apple and refused the candy.

 He was a very cute Percy even though constantly all night he was mistaken for Thomas. the horror. I had to explain to him that not everyone know who the trains are like us. Occasionally for Nash's sake I would correct the people and say "no Nash is Percy. Thomas' best friend". Nash was happy with that. He'd say when we left "mommy, they don't know their trains".

One funny thing is there were certain house who looked like it should have someone home but didn't. Chris said they were "stinky Petes" for not being home or looking like they were home but not being there. So Nash really took that to heart and every house that there weren't people home he would say "mommy, they are some stinky Petes".

 Checking out what all he got.

I told him he could choose one thing before bed time...and of course he chose the apple......good kid!

One funny thing that happened to me is that Nash and I went to a door and there was a very young Spiderman who looked younger than Nash. He put his hand on my pregnant belly and asked "what do you have in there?"...I was caught off guard and said "a baby". He was happy with that.

The Not So Fun Part

As of this past Monday,  I have 8 weeks or less before baby Griffin will be here. That sounds like not very long and forever at the same time. My days and weeks fly by for the most part so I know the time will fly by. At the same time I am very uncomfortable and the thought of going almost 8 more weeks is hard to imagine. I fell yesterday. I slipped in my garage because the floor was wet. I kind of caught myself with one arm but one side of my hip hit the concrete and one leg did something funny. I had my doctor's appointment anyways that afternoon and told her. They baby is fine. I am not feeling so hot. I only thought I was uncomfortable before. Now its way worse. Dr. gave me some Tylenol 3 and a muscle relaxer. I know I am in pain because normally don't want to take pills but this time I feel like I have too. So, I will be thankful when I am not in as much pain and not as uncomfortable.
Griffin is on the move a lot. It too is very uncomfortable because he keeps stretching out and it hurts. I am swollen, feel extra big and just all together uncomfortable. At the pumpkin patch yesterday someone took mine and Nash's picture and said how good it was. When I looked at it all I saw was a fat and swollen pregnant woman and of course a super cute 3 yr old. Part of me is so ready to get this baby out of me and the other part is terrified of how it is going to be when this baby comes out of me and I have two to care for. However, with how uncomfortable I am and I leaning more towards having this baby out of me. When I see pictures of myself pre-pregnancy, I long to feel normal again.
Speaking of having this baby come out of me..I had a baby shower a couple of Sunday's ago and have put everything in Griffin's room but don't have it all put away and organized. I don't know what I still need and what I don't and lately haven't had the energy to even begin so it's mainly just sitting in the floor.  I have lots of things from Nash as well and I need to figure out what I need to keep and what I don't. Also, it's like I have amnesia or just trouble getting it together. I've tried to think of what I need for the hospital and just getting organized in general and then my brain just stops because I get overwhelmed with it all. I hope one day soon I can get it together. Looks like I am going to have to start making a "to do" list and cross it off as I go.
I also know that this time I am going to need more help. Last time, I thought I was superwoman and could do it all and didn't really ask for help. I don't like to ask for help so this time I am going to try and get over that. I have a lot of supportive family and friends that would be glad to help and I am just going to have to keep reminding myself of that. I am also trying to have kind of a game plan with Nash. I don't really know what that is either. The only thing I do know if everything goes as planned (which my luck I doubt will be the case) I would like for Nash to get to see his baby brother first and after he is born I would like for Me, Chris, Nash and Griffin to have a few moments of alone time before the rest of the family comes in to meet him. Also, I don't want Nash's days to be all disrupted due to the baby. I want him to still go to school like he normally does and be home like he normally is for the most part so he can stay in a routine as much as possible. So that's all I got for now..

Nash's First Field Trip

 So Nash and his 3 yr old class had their first field trip today to the Scott Pumpkin Patch. I,as always, took a lot of pictures so here you go.

Nash was pumped about riding the bus and wondered why he didn't have to wear a seat belt. He said the bus went "fast" and was "bumpy".

 Nash and his friend Kakoa in the hay maze.

 They had an awesome petting zoo. Nash enjoyed seeing all the animals and even petted the donkey, goats, rabbits, and horses.

 They had a big play ground and a big slide. He loved it.

 We went on a hayride to get a pumpkin.

 Nash's pumpkin

 They had a bunch of cool places to take pictures. Nash wasn't big on taking pictures as he would rather be playing but here's one I got.

 Nash by the tractor

 They even had pig races which the kids really enjoyed.

 I've been to a few different pumpkin patches now and this one was the best by far.

The weather was good. It was threatening to rain the whole time but held off until we got on the bus to go home. On the way there, I showed Nash the road where it had been raining. He immediately bowed his head and prayed "Dear Jesus, thank you for today and  please let the rain stay away while we go to the pumpkin patch." I think his prayer was heard.