Breastfeeding

Prepregnancy, I thought breastfeeding was for those "supermoms" who stayed at home and did everything perfect. I definitely did not think it was for me. I was annoyed with moms talking about how much they loved breastfeeding. When I got pregnant, I thought man it would be so easy just to do formula and not mess with it but as I started reading pregnancy books and magazines and had friends who were pregnant I thought I should at least try it. My idea was I will just try it and see how it goes. If it goes good, fine. If not, fine. At least I could say I tried. I really wasn't expecting to be able to do it (for some reason).
Well, Nash was born and if you know his birth story I was so out of it that day BUT it went great. He had no trouble latching on. I had no trouble with it. In fact, I vaguely remember the lactation lady saying that Nash and I were a perfect match and I was meant to breastfeed. She said something about our anatomy being a good match. It probably was a good thing I was sedated because I would have probably had anxiety about it and over thought the whole thing.
So needless to say, I kept doing it. The day my milk came in, I was in so much pain that I was nauseated. This only encouraged me to do it because I thought if I have to let this dry up it is going to hurt a lot worse then just going ahead and feeding him. Yes, it did hurt for the first week or so when he latched on. In fact, the way I knew he was on was when I would cringe with pain. What I liked about it early on was when I was so tired from lack of sleep, I did not have to go get a bottle ready. His hunger was met instantly.
At about two weeks when I had been up every two sometimes one hour feeding him and severely sleep deprived I began to question if it was worth it and thought wouldn't it be nice if someone else could feed him and I could get some more sleep. In fact, I called a friend of mine in tears who had not too long ago gone through the same thing. She validated my feelings and said try letting someone else feed him what you've pumped with a bottle. This was my saving grace. That night Chris fed him the bottle and he did good with it. I think it was a psychological thing that I knew if I needed to leave him I could and he would be fine. It made me feel not so trapped. So, I have been breastfeeding since. It is not all wonderful. It is a hassle sometimes to have to pump at work, or not be able to go anywhere for more than a few hours without pumping or having to feed him. I was at first real self-conscious about what to do in public. Normally, if there is a private place I feed them there. However, I bought one of those shield things and it is wonderful. I don't have to worry wherever I go I can be covered up. Also, I got where I didn't care as much and I have become one of those moms that used to annoy me when they talked about how great breastfeeding is.
We have had some trouble though. When I went back to work, Nash got smart enough (what the nurse said) to realize that breast milk comes from mom and not the bottle. So it was a hassle getting him to take the bottle when just a few weeks prior he did great with it. I was so worried that he was going to starve. He has had it with a spoon, a syringe, and even a sippy cup. He has gotten better now with the bottle but sometimes still does the spoon.
With all that said, I know my experience is not everyone's and I know people who have had a tough time with breastfeeding for various reasons. If I had any trouble at all, I know I would not have stuck with it. However, it works for us. I won't do it forever. I am surprised I have made it this far. I was hoping to get to 6 months. That would be a major accomplishment to me. With Nash starting cereal now, I am now starting to think when am I going to start weaning him off? How is that going to go? I don't want it to be painful. So once again I take my advice from people who have been there and done that. Slowly is the way to go from what I hear.