a question I don't really want to ask but kinda do..

Okay so most of you know I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel, Sadie, who I got when I was 16. He is pretty much completely blind and deaf and has seemed to just go down hill especially in the last year or so. He just sleeps all the time. When he does move around he is constantly running into things. He doesn't seem to have a bit of excitement about him like he used to. He's slow to get up and down. He wants to go out a million times at night but doesn't have any accidents in the house during the day. I've not taken him back to the vet yet because I am thinking what's the point they can't really do much for him at his age and I don't really want to know if there is something more significant wrong. I haven't before considered this but now I kind of am and it scares me. I wondering if and when I should put him down. Ah just typing that freaks me out. I know I shouldn't just cause he's old but on the other hand he seems miserable and doesn't have much quailty of life. I, like everything else difficult in my life, try to block it out and just wait it out because either way it will work itself out. :(

random goings on

I've started swimming at the rec center for exercise and so far have really enjoyed it. I went 4 days last week and plan on doing the same every week. I thought it would be good for my back as it has hurt way worse this pregnancy but I can't really tell a whole lot of difference but can tell I am feeling better overall. It really has been a good work out. Working out is something I didn't do much while I was pregnant with Nash and I hoped that this time I can be in relatively good shape when having Griffin so that maybe I won't be so drained and worn out afterwards. I remember last time it taken me forever to feel like I had any strength so we'll see.
Work has been okay. This summer it was kind of laid back but very unorganized and not like the school year at all. Some ways that is good and some ways that isn't. School started this week and I am gearing up for it. I have an intern this year which is my first. I wasn't really wanting to do it this year with my pregnancy and all but think it will work out and can help me stay on top of things in the mean time. I have been the last couple of months since the pregnancy brain kicked into full gear doing a lot of stupid stuff at work. My job is one that you have to do everything, stay on top of everything, and be real organized and even under normal circumstances something falls through the crack. With being pregnant it is 100% worse. I am combating it with making extra efforts to write things down and stay on top of things. I am the butt of the jokes between my co-workers in regards to my pregnancy brain issues.  Pregnancy brain does not just happen at work as in the last month I have "lost" my debit card in the ATM machine twice, lost my phone, my work phone, keys, and checkbook.
Nash is doing well. He started back to "school" this week as well. Which I was kind of happy about and kind of not. I think it will be good for him to be back in a routine and learning and interacting with his friends on a daily basis again. However, last year we had the world's best teacher and this year we have a brand new teacher. She seems real nice and Nash likes her but after having our previous experience I am a little skeptical about this one. Not that I think this year will be bad. I just don't really know what to expect. So far so good.
Nash also starts soccer soon. We signed him up for the fall under 4 league. Games start next month. I am excited about it and think it will be fun to watch him out there trying to figure it all out. I think he will love it.
There's not much new with Griffin as far as he is concerned. Still  baking in the womb doing fine very active, giving me heartburn, sucking all my blood supply from my brain. However, I have been doing a lot of preparing for him. I have this weird thing about him having all the "hand me downs" which I did go through all of Nash's clothes and saved the ones that I thought he could wear and he will have plenty of hand me down toys and baby gear but I didn't want him to have the exact same nursery. The one thing I felt it was reasonable to give him something new. I couldn't find bedding I liked in the stores or at least not one that I really liked so I had a girl I know make one. It was a lot of fun and turned out cute. I am getting some pictures painted to match and got some different letters for his name to hang on the wall.  A fun thing about this pregnancy is that since we are in the house already I get to do all that stuff I was kind of rushed with with Nash's pregnancy. I feel like I have been nesting from very early on with this pregnancy. I think really its just a result of my anxiety about it all and I am trying to be as prepared as I can be.
Chris is doing good. School started for him this week as well. He will be very busy this year coaching all of boys basketball and having a full teacher's load. He is being positive about it but knows he has a lot on his plate. I am hoping for a good year for him and a good season for the basketball teams. He deserves it with how much he puts into it.

So yeah, that's what's going on with us.

Lord Help Me!

Reality is starting to set in and quite honestly it is starting to freak me out. I have been trying to push it back and just not think about it. The other day I had a discussion with a friend of mine and she said "isn't your husband's busiest time of the year going to be right when you have the baby? what are you going to do?'" That is when I admitted to myself and out lout that I have been trying not to think about it. Not only is December right smack in the middle of basketball season but Chris is even going to be even busier this year (if that's possible) as he is coaching ALL the boys basketball pretty much by himself.  He is a trooper and I admire that in him but it's starting to realize the magnitude of this for our family.  Even though I will be happy to be no longer pregnant, I am kind of wishing the baby could just stay put for oh a couple of years!
As most of you know this pregnancy was a surprise. Nash's was planned right down to the letter. Hence him being born in the summer so that Chris would be off as well. Since this pregnancy wasn't so much planned (by us anyways) I am freaking out a little. With Nash, about a month before we started trying I got Aflac and got pregnant the  next month. Aflac helped with our hospital bill and helped with some of my unpaid time off.
This time I don't really have a plan. So financially (which if you know me well) I am a little freaked out to say the least.
Also just the everyday aspects of having a 3 year old and an infant freak me out. Nash will still be going to school so that will help me have some alone time during the day with just the baby but I am not quite sure how I am going to handle the rest of the time with pretty much being by myself a lot of that time. Also, night time freaks me out.  Nash isn't always and actually very seldom sleeping in his bed all night. WE HAVE GOT TO WORK ON THAT because I don't know how that is going to work with a 3 yr old in my bed and an infant sleeping in my room waking up every two hours to eat. Lord help me.
I do think that Nash is going to be a good big brother and will be helpful but let's be realistic. He's only 3 and is quite the momma's boy. I know he is going to be wanting me some too and not be crazy about all the time I will have to give to Griffin. So yeah I am freaking out a little because I am quite sure December will sneak up on me in no time and all these fears and reality will come flooding at me. Maybe I will win the lottery and be able to afford people to do things for me to make my life easier and/or I can stay at home and maybe have to time to do all that I will have to do to make life function with two kiddos.

 Note to self: MUST START  PLAYING THE LOTTERY. I am quite sure my sanity is going to be in jeopardy come this December and I may lose it and never get it back.  For now though, back in to my mode of let's just not think about it.

The HEAT has got to go

As those of you know who live in the area, it has been WAY TOO HOT lately. I am so ready for some downpouring rain to cool things off or more importantly fall (my favorite season of the year). I have always heard about being out in the heat is unsafe for children and the eldery and how quickly that you can get dehydrated or have heat realated issues. Well, since I wasn't technically in either category and never had any major trouble I didn't think much of it. Now I do. There so should also be a warning for us pregnant folks to.
Tuesday night I started to have these weird heart palpatations and it scared me. I laid down and rested for a while and they went away and when I got back up they started full force. So I called the after hours number and of course they told me to go to the ER to be safe. So after 5 crazy hours at the ER which including blood work, ekg, and urine taken, and lots of craziness with how packed it was and the "interesting" people there. It turns out I was getting dehydrated, had a bladder infection, white blood count was high, and blood sugar was low.
After I found out what was wrong it totally made sense. I had not been drinking near like I should. I would just get busy and forget. To make matters worse, I might start off my day with a caffienated drink and not drink much water the rest of the day. Also, I hadn't been eating much. With it being so hot I don't feel like eating. I don't even really feel hungry until I am really hungry. The peeing a lot I chalked up to just being pregnant but there apparently was more to that. 
Even though the ER visit was miserable, it was a good wake up call and I am going to be more intentional about taking care of myself and little Griffin even in this awful heat!

pregnancy rant

I think it's about time for a pregnancy rant.  One thing that really bothers me about this pregnancy is the lack of "excitement". I  know I have posted about this before. So, I am not just saying the lack of excitement from others even though that does bother me. As I explained before it was hard for me to be excited and think about it as much as I did my first pregnancy because I already have one to focus my attention on. However, now that we know what we are having and have a named picked out, Griffin Fenix, and I am feeling movement on a regular basis when I am not extremely tired and overwhelmed I am getting very excited and not so much feeling that with others. I know this is normal for the second pregnancy so I am not mad at anyone or anything it's just how it is. It reminds me of the Scrubs episode when Carla and Turk are  pregnant with their second baby and when people realize or already knew it was their second one they would just kind of write them off. However, people that they saw pregnant with their first child they would just go on and on about the baby and be super excited and Carla and Turk being excited kept seeing the difference people made and felt left out.
Another thing that bothers me and I remember it bothering my first pregnancy is people giving their two cents when it's not really needed or appreciated because it sounds awfully negative. I want to say I don't care how you feel about what this baby or  what you want or what I should be doing or what the baby's name should be or if you don't like the name I picked. I am the one getting huge, hips and backs hurting, tired all the time, and am constantly considering what I am doing and trying the do the best thing for me and my baby because I am 100 percent aware every minute of every day that I am the one carrying this baby not you. The rule of if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it all should definitely apply more so with pregnant women.
With that said, I do have some very supportive people in my life that have been nothing but kind and supportive. I am so glad to be going through this at the same time with some close friends who are very understanding and supportive because they are going through it right along with me and friends who have recently gone through it or are just plan supportive. I am so excited about Griffin Fenix and part of me wants to get his room and everything ready and have him here in a few weeks because I can't wait to meet this sweet boy who is growing inside of me, making his presence known on a regular basis, and I know without of a shadow of a doubt that he was meant to be and God has a plan for his little life even in the womb. Recently, I read something that I already knew but totally hit me in a new way. It talked about God knew us and loved us from the very beginning and before we were ever even in the womb.  What an amazing thought.

It's a......

Today we found out what we are having.  It wasn't hard to tell in fact when we first started the ultra sound the lady said so you want to find out what you are having because it was right there in our face. It's a boy!

Nash was not too happy. He was expecting a girl and had been all along. He cried and said he didn't want a boy he wanted a girl. Actually it got to the point that it really hurt my feelings because I was sad that he was sad. However, he's coming around.  The baby waving at his big brother.

 The baby worshiping his creator in the womb. I prayed for Nash from day one and for this baby that he would know and love the Lord.

Our sweet little boy

So yeah I was caught completely off guard because I was expecting a little girl from the way I believed the baby was conceived as I had been charting. However, it was pleasant surprise to find out we are having another boy. I have always been kind of afraid of having a little girl. I am not a girlie girl and don't know if I could handle that. I guess in a way I was wanting one just to have something different. I thought of how awesome Nash is and didn't know how to wrap my head around having another boy that would compare to him. However, now that I know it's a boy I am excited. I will have two momma's boys and there will be lots of sports and fun stuff in our future.
As far as names go we are not entirely sure. I liked Griffin Lee from the start and so did Chris. Then Chris brought the idea of Fenix up. At first I said absolutely not. However as the name sat with me I kind of really like that now. Now Chris says maybe Griffin Fenix as he wants to be able to call the baby Griff. So we don't have set name for the baby but you can bet it will have some combination of Griffin, Fenix, and/or Lee in it.

Nash's New Bedroom

We decided to do Nash's new bedroom sooner than later so he will be used to it long before the baby comes. If you've been to our house before. We have our master bedroom and one other bedroom down stairs and there are two upstairs. Of course the baby would need to be down stairs with us so we had to move Nash upstairs in what used to be the computer/playroom.

This bedroom furniture used to be Chris's when he was a kid. It is still in great shape, is well made,  and I love it. We are thankful to be able to use it for Nash's bedroom.

We are going to hang Nash's basketball goal on the wall the bed is on.

The step stool is there for Nash to be able to turn on and off the lights and to be able to hit the intercom if he needs us in the middle of the night. We are going to gate the top of the stairs at first until he gets a little bigger. We don't want him to take a tumble down the stairs in the middle of the night.

The book shelves came in handy too. We put our books and stuff in the top and then Nash's toys in the bottom.

I love Nash's comforter. Chris had it in college and barely used it.

The paintings on the wall I saw online and had a lady paint them for me. I love them too.

Nash loves his big boy bed and if all goes well he is going to sleep in there tonight for the first time. fingers crossed.