My Grandmother's Wedding

My grandmother got married this past weekend. My grandfather passed away about six years ago when Chris and I were dating. It was tough on everyone. My grandpa was funny, athletic, and a great guy. He had a stroke and heart problems. He went down hill fast and wasn't himself until he passed away.
My grandmother has been "dating" Len for a year or so (something like that) and they decided to tie the knot. It was a little awkward at first for the family because he's not grandpa but he makes her happy. He is very nice and funny and is actually really similar to grandpa. You can tell he is crazy about her and she adores him. It's actually kind of sweet.
They got married in the church that me and Chris both grew up in and got married in. In fact, all our family got married in that church. We haven't been there probably since then so it was nice. It brought back a lot of memories. In a weird way it was neat to have Nash there because that church meant a lot to me growing and where his daddy and I met originally and got married. (It is a long story about how Chris and I ended up together and one that is weird especially to people that knew both of us then) The wedding was simple but pretty. My grandmother looked beautiful and was very happy as a bride should be. Len seemed nervous, happy and was cracking jokes about grandma running out on him as most grooms do.

The bride and groom. (doesn't he look like Donald Sutherland. my goofy husband pointed this out but it is so true). And maybe I am being a little self-absorbed but they remind me of me and Chris. He is so tall and she's so small. He is funny and athletic. She laughs at him all the time and thinks he is the funniest thing.

the whole fam

grandma and len with the grandchildren

Me and Nash at the sign in book

(since i am being so self absorbed. long story made short. chris and i grew up in the same church but barely even spoke to each other. after both of us had some heartaches. he was at ouachita. i was at fayetteville. our moms ran into each other and i was given Chris's number. i reluctantly called even though he will tell you he called or emailed me first and the rest is history. we both fell hard and fast. it was a God thing. all there is to it. )

our family picture (my handsome husband and my adorable boy)

Pictures from Thanksgiving

Nash enjoying his Thanksgiving meal with his daddy. Chris feed him pretty much his whole meal and thought it was funny how excited he got over it. He loves sweet potatoes and his daddy and I don't.

He liked playing football outside.

family pics.

We had a great Thanksgiving as always. Food was great. Family was nice to be around. Nash did good even without having much of a nap. (he's taking an extra long afternoon nap to make up for it now). We were stuffed but a little bumed that all the chocolate pie was gone before we got a piece. Going to have to have my mother-in-law make another one!

a couple pictures I took this weekend

We had a busy and eventful weekend. Friday day we played with Nate and had a great time. We met Nate and Kat at the park. They played hard. It was funny to see their different personalities. I have to say Nate is quite the dare devil as he tried to run into the creek, dive down slides, took a tumble off the side of the play area, and had a smirk about him knowing he was doing something he was not supposed to or at least knowing he was going to get a reaction out of his mom. Nash just played and was more timid about the slide and all. He thought it was exciting just going back and forth over the ramp. Nash said "Nate" when playing with him. He has been saying his own name to. Sounds more like "Naaaash". They laughed hysterically when they were told that putting a rock or stick in their mouth was "yucky" and made each other laugh.
Saturday we attempted to go see Santa with Misty and Braydi. Nash was in line. He looked at Santa and did fine but as soon as we got close to Santa for him to sit in his lap he clamed up, cringed, clung to me, and cried something awful. Several things were funny about this. One, Nash had on his shirt that said "I am Santa's Favorite". Also, the other parents in line who were afraid their kids would get scared of Santa kept saying to their kids. "It's okay. Santa's nice. Sit on his lap and tell him what you want for Christmas. He's a nice guy. Just sit in his lap and take a pretty picture". So, needless to say I didn't get to get a picture of him and Santa this year. Then we took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese and they had a great time.
Saturday night we went to Morrilton to watch the Jr. Boys play in the championship game. Nash had fun. He loves watching basketball and playing it even more. He spent most of the time playing basketball on the side with me and a couple of other kids. We lost and did not play well but still got second place.
Sunday we had a thanksgiving lunch at Chris's Memaw and Papaw's. This was unexpected. We do it every year but this year we weren't because papaw isn't doing well so we weren't going to have it but changed it last minute which was a good thing. We don't see that side of the family much other than holidays so it was nice seeing them. Nash had a good time playing with his cousins outside which is pictured below.

The lack of pictures baffles me. I guess I just didn't take time to get my camera out. I am hoping when Santa brings me a smaller camera then maybe it will be easier to carry around with me to things like things this weekend that I didn't take pictures of. I love my big camera and it takes great pictures but some times it isn't practial to carry around. The only reason these were taken is because we were outside and everyone was taking pictures and I happened to grab my camera out of the car to take some. Which I am glad I did because, I probably got the only good one of the cousins with all of them looking.

Now I am feeling "yucky" myself and hope to feel better by Thanksgiving. Just thought that last year on Thanksgiving I had Strep Throat. Going to the doctor tomorrow. I feel like I have a sinus infection. So, we'll see.

my job

I get a lot of questions about my job. I think people are just intrigued by what I do. I got the question tonight, Is it hard for you to hear the stuff you hear? How do you deal with that? That's a good question and I guess I really don't give it a lot of thought outside of work on how I deal with it.
Yes, it is hard to hear some of the things I hear. Yes, it is hard to see people that have had gone through so much tough things that most people don't hear about. Yes, some clients are frustrating because they seem to make their own trouble for themselves and don't take responsibility for their behavior. Yes, my job is stressful.
However, in graduate school (I think on one of our first classes) a professor was showing us a research study that was done on people going into the mental health field about their own experiences and most of them have had some sort of a rough upbringing or have been through something that made them want to enter into the field. I found that intriging and makes a lot of sense. I knew when I started grad school that I was in the right place. The other grad students and I imediately had some sort of bond and even those that I may be completley different in some ways, in some ways we really connected. Maybe our personalities or just the underlying want or need to help others. I have great friends that I have met in grad school and I value their friendship greatly.
One area that I am oddly attracted to is Loss and Grief. It is sad, depressing, etc. but I think what I like about it is that everyone has experienced it in some way and I think we are the most vulnerable at that time in our lives. There is this one particular grief expert that I like to hear him talk. He makes a lot of sense to me. He basically says that all of us mental health workers for some reason or another and in some strange way are attracted to the darker things in life which in a weird way makes sense. He stated that his kid asked him why he was in this field. Why did he want to hear about loss and grief and all that all day long? He joking said oh you also get to hear about depression, anxiety, phobias, substance abuse, tragedies, mental illness, abuse, yada yada yada. Basically saying, yeah it is all dark stuff.
One way I think I deal with it is just being so grateful for what I have and for myself and my family I try to make healthy and responsible decisions. I also have so much empathy for others and am less likely to judge others because there is so much more the story that you don't know about on the surface. I also don't pretend like I have all the answers. I know I don't and never will. Life and people are complicated and it's not about having the answers to everything but about making the best out of a situation and be able to be truly there for someone in an unbiased way (unconditional positive regard) that helps people heal, learn, and grow. My faith helps a lot. I know what I believe and I am strong in that. I know that God uses me to help others and feel blessed and priveleged to be able to do so.
There are some negative consequences of it. Like I am super paranoid about things because I hear about it all the time. I don't trust people easily. I am very cautious and anxious a lot of the time. I tend to over think things and over analyze things. I also tend to need my time. I need time to do what makes me happy like be with my son and my husband and live low key. I don't like to be too overwhelmed. I don't want to have too many things going on at once. It's a way I balance out the stress. I can't help what I hear and the stress I deal with at work but I can manage my own life not to add stress when it's not needed.
Yes, sometimes I question on my bad days or difficult days. Why did I do this again? Why did I chose a career that is all around pretty negative and stressful. I know no job is easy and I think what helps is that we were trained in grad school to be able to leave your job at your job and take care of yourself so that you can be effective at your job and not be run down yourself. For the most part, I've done well with that and am pretty good about setting boundaries. I tend to get on overload if I have stressful personal things going on because it feels like too much. Also I know in my heart for whatever reason that this is what I was called to do. I don't say that in a boasting way because it is not a glamorious job (realitively low pay for the amount of education, a difficult job, and not the most popular job; for example try telling someone your a therapist and watch everyone either one stop talking out of fear you are analyzing them or two tell you their whole life story or what's going on with someone else they know that they think they need help). I know in my heart that in that God wanted me in this field for whatever reason and have known that for a really long time. I trust that and it is rewarding knowing that I am doing what he wants me to do. It is amazingly rewarding to be able to help. Not everybody is helped but a lot are and it is nice to play a roll in making someone else's life better.
So, there's my answer. It is not particulary well written and rather lengthly but that's my answer. However, when someone ask me in person I say "I don't know I just do" or "It's okay" because the therapist in me really has to explain it for it to make sense and normally I don't want to go into all that because I am too drained from work!! (kind of joking but kind of not).

old photos that make me tear up

I borrowed my mother-in-laws small camera recently and came across these old photos that are super sweet to me.



Nash with his daddy and great grandpa

Nash with his Poppy and holding his cousin Skylar's hand

Nash tugging on his great memaw's necklace

Nash's first Halloween with the tricker treaters

Nash oh so sweet sleeping. couldn't be more than a couple months old

Nash's first trip to Horton's Electric (my inlaw's buisness) about a month old.

Nash out to eat with us for my birthday. He was probably six weeks old.

he's a baller, shot caller

look at that face. he really tries hard and concentrates. and yes it does go in most of the time.

he even has follow through

what can i say the kid loves basketball. he comes by it honestly and am sure will have plenty of opportunities to be coached by his daddy. are we looking at a future NBA player? i think possibly.

So we went to Branson...

Before we went I was contemplating whether or not this would be a good idea with my little one and after some convincing by my sister-in-law (on the trip nicknamed Ms. Branson) I decided to go. My sister-in-law got her nickname because she has probably been to Branson 10 times in the last 10 years and the last time I went was roughly 10 years ago so she knew it like the back of her hand. So we decided that we would work around the kids schedules and be as flexible as possible. I myself am not a Branson person which was part of my hesitation about going. I like to shop some in the outlets and look at Christmas lights. Not big on the shows and all that. With a 17 month old, I was more concerned how everything would go and rightfully so for several reasons.

1. my kid ran across the hotel parking lot about 100 yards with me running right behind him because he saw a dog on the other side.
2. my kid threw horrible fits at the restaurants. I am talking throwing everything he can get his hands on across the table, screaming, etc.
3. my kid is a horrible shopper and will not stay in his stroller if it is not constantly moving and even then still wants out and run throughout the store aimlessly.
4. my kid threw some major fits in the Titanic museum and had to be contained
5. my kid fell off the hotel bed onto the floor at 2:30am

With all that said, we still had a good time because

1. I got to shop for me and finished up some Christmas shopping while my mom watched my kid in the hotel room
2. my kid thoroughly enjoyed the Dixie Stampede, watching the animals in the show, and waving his flag.
3. my kid had a great time playing with his cousin
4. even though my kid threw some major fits we all recognized that it was his age and the fact that he only took a 45 min nap all day rather than a 2 hour nap and we all love my kid enough to deal with and even laugh at it at times.
5. my kid loved the lights, espeically the flashing ones at the resturant