my job

I get a lot of questions about my job. I think people are just intrigued by what I do. I got the question tonight, Is it hard for you to hear the stuff you hear? How do you deal with that? That's a good question and I guess I really don't give it a lot of thought outside of work on how I deal with it.
Yes, it is hard to hear some of the things I hear. Yes, it is hard to see people that have had gone through so much tough things that most people don't hear about. Yes, some clients are frustrating because they seem to make their own trouble for themselves and don't take responsibility for their behavior. Yes, my job is stressful.
However, in graduate school (I think on one of our first classes) a professor was showing us a research study that was done on people going into the mental health field about their own experiences and most of them have had some sort of a rough upbringing or have been through something that made them want to enter into the field. I found that intriging and makes a lot of sense. I knew when I started grad school that I was in the right place. The other grad students and I imediately had some sort of bond and even those that I may be completley different in some ways, in some ways we really connected. Maybe our personalities or just the underlying want or need to help others. I have great friends that I have met in grad school and I value their friendship greatly.
One area that I am oddly attracted to is Loss and Grief. It is sad, depressing, etc. but I think what I like about it is that everyone has experienced it in some way and I think we are the most vulnerable at that time in our lives. There is this one particular grief expert that I like to hear him talk. He makes a lot of sense to me. He basically says that all of us mental health workers for some reason or another and in some strange way are attracted to the darker things in life which in a weird way makes sense. He stated that his kid asked him why he was in this field. Why did he want to hear about loss and grief and all that all day long? He joking said oh you also get to hear about depression, anxiety, phobias, substance abuse, tragedies, mental illness, abuse, yada yada yada. Basically saying, yeah it is all dark stuff.
One way I think I deal with it is just being so grateful for what I have and for myself and my family I try to make healthy and responsible decisions. I also have so much empathy for others and am less likely to judge others because there is so much more the story that you don't know about on the surface. I also don't pretend like I have all the answers. I know I don't and never will. Life and people are complicated and it's not about having the answers to everything but about making the best out of a situation and be able to be truly there for someone in an unbiased way (unconditional positive regard) that helps people heal, learn, and grow. My faith helps a lot. I know what I believe and I am strong in that. I know that God uses me to help others and feel blessed and priveleged to be able to do so.
There are some negative consequences of it. Like I am super paranoid about things because I hear about it all the time. I don't trust people easily. I am very cautious and anxious a lot of the time. I tend to over think things and over analyze things. I also tend to need my time. I need time to do what makes me happy like be with my son and my husband and live low key. I don't like to be too overwhelmed. I don't want to have too many things going on at once. It's a way I balance out the stress. I can't help what I hear and the stress I deal with at work but I can manage my own life not to add stress when it's not needed.
Yes, sometimes I question on my bad days or difficult days. Why did I do this again? Why did I chose a career that is all around pretty negative and stressful. I know no job is easy and I think what helps is that we were trained in grad school to be able to leave your job at your job and take care of yourself so that you can be effective at your job and not be run down yourself. For the most part, I've done well with that and am pretty good about setting boundaries. I tend to get on overload if I have stressful personal things going on because it feels like too much. Also I know in my heart for whatever reason that this is what I was called to do. I don't say that in a boasting way because it is not a glamorious job (realitively low pay for the amount of education, a difficult job, and not the most popular job; for example try telling someone your a therapist and watch everyone either one stop talking out of fear you are analyzing them or two tell you their whole life story or what's going on with someone else they know that they think they need help). I know in my heart that in that God wanted me in this field for whatever reason and have known that for a really long time. I trust that and it is rewarding knowing that I am doing what he wants me to do. It is amazingly rewarding to be able to help. Not everybody is helped but a lot are and it is nice to play a roll in making someone else's life better.
So, there's my answer. It is not particulary well written and rather lengthly but that's my answer. However, when someone ask me in person I say "I don't know I just do" or "It's okay" because the therapist in me really has to explain it for it to make sense and normally I don't want to go into all that because I am too drained from work!! (kind of joking but kind of not).