Our first week home

So today marks our first week home with Griffin even though he is two weeks old. That feels so weird to say. We've had a lot of firsts in this first week.

First Bath-He didn't like it. As a rule he doesn't like to be messed with. Been messed with too much already.

 First dr's visit-He is doing beautifully. Gained 6 ozs in 4 days. Just a 1 1/2oz from birth weight.

 First visitors

 First outing to big brother's Christmas program at school.

He also had his first photo shoot where we got some really good pictures. Also, had to return to the hospital for his circumcision which was traumatic for him and I. He is a good baby. Sleeps a lot but is waking up more often. Eats good. Poops and pees a lot. Especially on me and his clothes. As you can see his big brother is crazy about him. When we went to Nash's performance, Nash saw us and the first thing he said was "where's my baby?" He is sleeping in our bedroom in his play yard. He has had some long stretches of sleep about 4 hours. Mainly is up every 2-3 but goes right back to sleep.  We are coasting right along...

Keepin it real

It stinks to have what you thought to be a pretty bad birth experience the first time around and now would give anything to have that experience the second time because the second one was way worse.
It stinks to only get to hold your baby for an hour and half after birth.
It stinks to watch your day old child who you have only seen for an hour or so be med flighted to another hospital and you not be able to go with him.
It stinks to be in a hospital for giving birth and not have your baby there with you and then to make matters worse see others with their babies or hear other babies cry in the middle of the night.
It stinks to get a call saying that your baby had to require 100 percent oxygen and is now on a vent.
It stinks to go see your baby a day after having a c-section hooked up to a vent, quivering, and breathing hard.
It stinks for everyone to tell you how common this is when it doesn't matter how common it is when its your baby that is going through it.
It stinks to go visit your baby and every time see new mothers being wheeled out taking their babies home and your being wheeled up to see your baby who is on a vent in the NICU.
It stinks to see your baby laying there hooked up to so many things and have to fight back the super strong urge to pick them up and hold them.
It stinks to get your hopes up that your baby is improving or get estimates on when things will be better only to be let down a million times.
Its good to know your child's doctor made the right call and that if she hadn't things good have been a lot worse.
Its good to watch your 3 yr old son still be in love with his little brother and not concerned because he doesn't know any better.
It's wonderful to have family/friends/church family be very supportive.
It's wonderful to feel a peace about things that aren't so peaceful.
Its great to know that even though your baby is away from you he is being taken really good care of and you can call and visit any time you want.
It's great that even though I haven't gotten to nurse my baby I've been able to pump and have a milk supply stocked up and waiting on him when he is ready.
It was good to actually be awake for your baby's birth and at least have good memories of it.
It has been the longest and toughest 3 day or 4 days of my life.

The Story of Griffin

Well Griffin is here but just not home yet. His birth story started on Monday November 28th where I went to my 38 week appointment. I thought this would be an uneventful appointment as they weren't even checking me as I had a scheduled C-Section the following Monday December 5th. However, I get on the ole so lovely scale and had gained 6 and 1/2 lbs in one week. I was shocked because really I hadn't been eating as much because I felt so full and my blood pressure was high. I was trying to figure out where all this weight came from. When my doctor came in I asked her how it was possible to gain so much weight in a week. She was concerned. She looked at my legs and they were very tight and swollen. She felt like the majority of the weight was fluid and my blood pressure was high. She was afraid that it would be good for me or Griffin to wait til Monday so she said I could come in that Tuesday or Wednesday for a C-Section. I couldn't wrap my head around it that fast so I choose to go in on Wednesday. She had me on complete bed rest that night and the next day. I was at the very least freaking out trying to wrap my head around what all needed to be done at home and at work before then. I got it together. I spent Tuesday resting and doing work stuff.  I tried to sleep Tuesday night and maybe got 4 hours of sleep as we had to be there bright and early at 5:30am and the C-Section was scheduled for 7:30.

So, the day of I was excited and nervous. I felt like I was going through this for the first time as I don't remember much of Nash's birth so I did talk to my best friend who had her c-section a couple of weeks ago and she walked me through what to expect which was helpful. So we get there, sign in,  get in the gown, get hooked up to monitors, get the iv started, and we are well on our way. As I was hooked up to the monitor I started having contractions 4-5 mins apart so this baby was coming one or way the other. I had family there with me as we were getting ready. The nurses and doctors were all super nice. I explained how I was nervous because the spinal tap didn't work last time to find out that apparently in 2008 they had a "bad batch" (no lie). We get back there and the spinal tap was easy peasy and worked pretty quickly. It was the strangest feeling to have my legs tingly and numb. My doctor came in and assured that were just fine and this time would be better. She made the incision and said  I just made the incision and I was shocked because I barely felt anything. During the procedure there was a lot of pressure. Then when it was time for Griffin to come out they told me to take a deep breath and they pulled him out. It was the craziest feeling. I kept saying "oh my goodness, oh my goodness". I just couldn't believe it.  This is Griffin's first shot out of the womb. PRICELESS.

My doctor said he looks so much like Nash and Chris said the same thing. They put him on beside us as they were suctioning him out, getting him measured, etc. I was just amazed that he just came out of me. My first thought was "he's so small". The lady said "honey, he's not small". He was 7lbs 3 oz and 20 inches long at 38 weeks and 2 days. Nash was 7lbs 1oz and 20 inches long at 39 weeks and 3 days.

 I was so excited to get to hold him and it felt like forever until I got him. She laid him on my chest and wheeled me back to my room. Where he stayed on me for a good hour or so and his brother got to come back and see him and spend some time with him. Then family got to come in and see him.

 One of the few close ups with his eyes kind of open.

When he came out he coughed up a bunch of stuff and I kept asking if that was normal and they said it was. He got at 9.9 on the scale so it seemed like things were going to be fine. As most of you know things didn't turn out fine. We went back to our room and he was still coughing up stuff and grunting a lot. His color wasn't good so they took him back and found out his oxygen level was low. A very long story short is that he has what they call "wet lungs". It is apparently super common in caucasian males who are born a little early. They kept giving him oxygen and he wasn't responding. He wasn't getting much better and had to work hard to breathe so when the pediatrician came by she decided it would be best for him to transfer him to the NICU. Don't want to get into all the details because it's still pretty emotional for me but he's doing better and hopefully will get off the ventilator tomorrow and start breathing on his own. He got tired  of working so hard to breathe and needed some extra help and some medication to help clear up his lungs. He's still in the NICU and will be for a little bit but it should keep getting better daily and he has made major improvements in 24 hours.
I will have some more pics of Nash getting to see his brother. He is in love with him and calls him "my baby". He's not really asking too many questions and kind of doesn't know that what going on now is not normal.
As we get through the NICU part in the next week or so. I hope to be able to blog about that experience as well and about him coming home. That will be a great day!

Christmas Decor

This year's Christmas decorations.

I decided to put the Christmas tree in our dinning room this year. One reason is to have it  out of the way as we will need more room for baby things in our living room and another is because the train will go better on the tile than the carpet. 

 Nash is super excited about the train. We had it last year but getting it out this year you would think it was brand new and his favorite "toy" at the moment.

 I ordered new stockings since our family is complete now and we now have matching stockings with our names on them and matching stocking holders.

Our tree has some new stuff on it this year as well. The red ribbon, the star, and the things sticking out of it. It turned out really pretty.

Griffin Ready

So this week I had a week off for Thanksgiving break and my goal was to get everything ready for baby Griffin and have my Christmas stuff ready so I don't have to worry with it after he is born. I've done pretty good on my goal so far. I've bought a few last minute things that me and Griffin need, washed everything, put things up, cleaned out my car, and got the car seat in the car. I am for sure Griffin ready as far as I think I have everything that I need. 

So I thought it was time to post Griffin's nursery pics for those who haven't seen it.

As you know, I kept everything from Nash so the furniture and gear are the same. However, I changed the theme. I couldn't find bedding that I really liked in the store so I had a girl I know make it. I found some fabric that I liked and we went from there.  I thought it turned out real cute.

As far as the Christmas goal, got to finish decorating, all presents are bought, waiting for a few of them to come in, the ones I have are wrapped, and I got to get Chris' stocking stuffers. Hoping by the time Griffin gets here that all will be done. It gives me piece of mind to get as much done as I can so I will have less to worry with afterwards.
The plan is still a scheduled c-section December 5th unless he comes early. I hope we can stick to the plan this time but as I know from past experience, you never know.

Thanksgiving Program

 Today was Nash's Thanksgiving program at school. It later dawned on me that this will be his last Thanksgiving program with Mother's Day Out. This year they just go up to the three year olds so that  means next year he will either be at Abundant Life 4K or somewhere else. We haven't really decided yet.

They sang three songs "I'm a little turkey fat and round...", "Mr. Turkey, Mr. Turkey, run away, run away, If you don't be careful, you will be a mouthful on Thanksgiving Day, Thanksgiving Day", and "If you're thankful and you know it...". It was very cute and bittersweet for this mommy.

 Then we had a Thanksgiving lunch that was very good. Nash seemed to enjoyed it and liked playing with his friends

Coloring while waiting on the food. I think he was a bit sleepy.

A funny part that I want to remember from this day was while we were eating they played a slide show of different pics from the year and he really enjoyed it. There is this one girl in this class who he says is "mean". We have heard about her for awhile. Well, while we were watching the slideshow, he saw her picture and said "hey mommy!.There's the mean girl." I'm glad there weren't many people sitting right around us. Nash is funny like that and says stuff like that all the time. It reminds me so much of his dad. Chris always says goofy stuff like that. I remember when we were dating and we were looking through some of his old stuff and there was a folder thing that had stuff he wrote when he was like six. In it he talked about a girl that was mean to him at a field trip and he said he hoped she got stung by a bee. When I read it I laughed so hard because I could see him saying the same thing now and now I have a little mini Chris who says stuff like that at 3 yrs old. So, there will be plenty more embarrassing moments in the future I'm sure.

Either way, he keeps me laughing (both of them) and I am very thankful for my boys! (Chris, Nash, and baby Griffin). Wouldn't trade them for anything.

attitude of gratitude

So, most of you who know me know I have certain qualms about Christmas and gift giving. Not that I think gift giving is wrong but I don't think there should be an obligation to give just because at this family's gathering we get for these people (that we see maybe once a year who most of the time don't really need any gifts) because that's just what we do. Also the amount of gift giving in general has really gotten out of control in my opinion which only gets people away from the true meaning of Christmas. I'm all about giving to the less fortunate but after we meet all our obligations to give for us there is not much money left over to give to others which is sad to me and I am really at a loss about what to do about it.
This brings me to my point. At church last week our preacher talks about thanksgiving. Every year he does this for a few weeks and emphases the importance of it. He brought up the illustration of how kids get a huge stack of presents at family get togethers and rip through the packages without even knowing who they came from and then wonder if they got any more. While he was saying all that I was totally on board because I couldn't agree more and hate that. Then he  got me with comparing it to what we do with God. God blesses us in so many ways and we rip through all the blessings he gives us without thanking him and half the time even recognizing that they are blessings from God not something we have done or something we are entitled to and then we have the nerve to ask God for more or complain because we want something He hasn't given us yet. 
I don't know about you but it hit home to me. It's not that I am not  thankful and grateful person because I think I am and feel that way in my heart however I don't think I praise God for what he has done and is doing in my life like I need to however I am really quick to ask him to do things for me or others that I know that are going through something. He challenge was for us to praise more than or as much as we pray. Something I need to work on doing.
I see all the posts on Facebook where people post each day something they are thankful for. I have done it some in the past but some times it annoys me (doesn't take much these days) but now I am thinking at least they are taking time out of their day to voice something that they are thankful for rather gripe about what's going wrong in their lives. This is something I want to work on. Not just at Thanksgiving but year around to have an attitude to gratitude and to voice my thankfulness to God and others as much if not more than I voice my discontentment or need/want of things.